I slept in on Thursday morning. Like a rock. Phone on vibrate. Dog looking at me when I finally do get up after 11, giving me kisses and howling in excitement because he has probably been doing the pee pee dance for hours now.
I needed that. No distractions. I woke up feeling like the past few weeks of stress were clean off my slate.
I had improved since my previous week but have still had a lot on my mind. Sometimes when I should be sleeping the things I say I am NOT worried about come to mind. Things that I think are okay during the day then I get “irked” at night. Is “irked” a word? I’m not getting squiggly lines, so maybe it is. I don’t know.
The ways I might have wronged people, things people have done to wrong me, my childhood, my adolescence… memories continuously flow that I I even had to ask to validate some of them because frankly at this point I don’t know what is real and what isn’t. And some nights they just eat at me.
Even trivial things keep me up. Wednesday night’s worry was about the weekend’s Halloween party, as I suffered from Lyme brain and put things in my cart, and forgot to actually order them. I have no control over how I will do, or how people will treat me (hopefully kindly) but I just worry. Will it be too noisy? Will it have lights that affect me? I obsess.
I woke up with a clean slate. I let the pup out and sat comfortably in my pajamas and played around with the computer. Procrastinating about one little pill, out of my 15 or so other morning pills. Flagyl.
I took it, and got ready for the day. Put on a cute outfit, then headed out for coffee and Dr S’s for some yeast formula to help get rid of my ever spreading chest rash that is now also a neck and back rash. I felt I looked pretty good but didn’t realize it was flipping freezing out. With the cooler weather now I really need to remember a jacket. Oy. I dubbed in the office, not really accomplishing a whole lot, just trying to do a report but go figure any government website doesn’t work right. Pshhh.
But guess what? It wasn’t hit by a bus or a train. More like a Pinto. I was still tired, loopy, and fibromyalga-ey, but I was ok. I went to wings. No wings for me. I splurged and got nachos, as they are gluten free. I had a few and was full, but Dave had no problem picking up my slack 😉
My nighttime consisted of a scary movie with Dave, Grey’s (Dave’s cue for bed if he wants to live as there is a no talking, no breathing loudly, don’t be in my presence rule), and Lifetime movies. My second Flagyl upset my stomach and I was beginning to get really cold, so I bundled up with my bedtime clothes and wore my fuzzy sockies to bed.
After the first day of Flagyl, I was hoping to have the same results. Friday is the tough day. Clindamycin and Zithro IV, Septra DS, a high dose of Artimisinin, Mepron, and the Flagyl. It will be a Marinol day. But I know I will get through it.