November Part 3 – Waiting for the War Inside Me

Friday was a much better day for me. I would probably be fired from a normal job for my tardiness from work, as I got there at nearly one in the afternoon, but I am given a lot of leniency. Okay.. I would be fired. I slept in completely, with my alarm going off I didn’t hear a thing from the time it started going off at 8:15, to after 11. I had 10 whole hours of sleep. Ahhhhh 🙂

 

Once I got up, although my achy and sore self, I felt like I had at least slept a little bit. I skipped a real bath and did a half ass wash up to get ready, slapped on some deodorant and dry shampoo, pulled some wrinkled clothes from one of my “clean hampers”, since I have not folded any laundry in a few months, and was off to work. 

 

I was functional, which was a nice change. I accomplished so much at work, between entering invoices from the deliveries that were done for the end of the week, emailed all the customers their invoices, and finished a few reports that needed to be sent in. After that, I managed to go to my work’s bank (even though I just go to the drive thru there), go to my bank, the pharmacy (Gee… I am there an awful lot! That is Lyme.), and drop off some mail. I was feeling very much like a rockstar for all that I did!

 

Once I got home, I was pooped. Luckily, Dave picked up a salad for me and a calzone for himself on his way home from work. 

 

The day of accomplishment finally did me in. I hate so much that although I am excited for running small errands, yet I really have no full independence and get so exhausted and am not able to do the things I use to.

 

 I spent the rest of the night on the couch, my knees on fire, and did a lactated ringer. The bugs came back again, on my back, in my hair, on my chest, my legs. They were everywhere. I inspected the couch and once again, they weren’t real. 

 

This has been a “norm” for my past treatment of Cipro. Although it doesn’t bother me since I know they aren’t real, it drives me crazy because even though I know nothing is there I keep scratching and scratching. I was wide awake once again until the wee hours of the morning, but slept in as much as I could on Saturday morning.

 

Saturday was an okay day. I slept in until around 12:30 in the afternoon. By the time I got done getting ready, the day was almost over! I felt like I hadn’t really got any sleep, unlike Friday, and when I got to work I stuttered and ticked, but that is another thing that doesn’t really bother me unless I’m around people I don’t know or don’t feel comfortable around… if I even care that day.  

 

On my way home from work, I stopped to get a cup of coffee. I knew Dave and I were going to try to go out for dinner so I wanted a little more “pep”, since I really didn’t have any. I figured I would surprise Dave with an ice coffee and got everything all prepared at the little gas station I go to every morning and once I got to the register, shaky hands KimmieCakes hit my hot coffee across the counter and spilt it EVERYWHERE.

 

 It was dripping down on the shelves below, all over my shoes. I made a mess. The owner of the store was there, and I felt so terrible and I helped clean up the mess the best I could. I promised her I would pay for the coffee and would make sure I wouldn’t get all “butterfingers” on the second cup. She was very nice and understanding and insisted she wouldn’t charge me and not to worry. But I still felt like tears were going to come. Luckily they didn’t, even though I could feel them in the back of my eyes and that feeling in your throat when you are going to bawl your eyes out. That would have added even more embarassment to the fact I couldn’t even hold a coffee cup like a normal person. 

 

When I got home, I felt better. I realized mistakes happen, even to those who don’t have shaky Parkinsonsy hands. I told Dave and he rolled his eyes at me and laughed. Well.. I guess now it is kind of funny but I still felt terrible that I had made such a mess. I rested and watched a movie with Dave on the couch, then we headed out to meet some friends for dinner that we haven’t seen in awhile. It was nice to see them but lighting seemed to bother me and I couldn’t wait to get to the car and get home. I was a party pooper and reclined in the car until Dave was done chatting while I waiting for him to take us home. More movies for Dave and I and then bed. 

 

Sunday was a new day. One that I went to the store in the morning and held onto my cup of coffee for dear life. LOL. It was another work day. 

 

I had to finish two days of work since I realistically did not know if I would be able to make it to work on Monday. I was able to finish it all so I wouldn’t even have to worry if it was necessary for me to go to work, and decided it was best to do what I could around the house. I got as far as folding some clothes out of our “clean baskets”. Yup. That’s enough for me. 

 

I didn’t even manage to pick up or organize my piles of papers that I printed out for research that were scattered on the couch, but I think Lucy was happy to have some papers to lay on while sleeping. 🙂

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The rest of the day was spent watching more movies under the blankets with my feet elevated as I was FREEZING and have circulation issues in my legs and feet. Another lactated ringer to make sure everything was out of my system and had a good detox to start everything. 

 

Unfortunately, this is my new tubing. I ordered the wrong ones (Bugs are eating my brain) so I had a lot of slack. Kind of made me feel like a science project with all the tubing. Oh well… they still worked! 

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By the end of the day, reality hit me. Although I had a glimmer of good, I knew that my 4th round with Dr J was starting the following day. What was this round going to be like? He told me it was going to be rough, but HOW rough? After this protocol, he said I was going to be on the home stretch of my IVs, which is fantastic, but I wished more than ever I could just skip this all and be done with it. 

 

3 thoughts on “November Part 3 – Waiting for the War Inside Me

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