December Part 4 – Dead Weight

It was my doozy day. IV Cipro and Zithro, Septra DS, Mepron, Artimisinin, and Flagyl. As soon as I got out of bed, I had a feeling like I got out of bed too fast. That light headed, fast heartbeat feeling. Not today…. I got a long day ahead of me! I need a running start to get through this day! Mind over matter, I was ready to start the day. 


One Marinol. IVs. While doing my IV, I watched my cat jump off of the curtain, knocking my Christmas tree over. Dave and I were waiting for the day to come for one of our animals knocking down the tree, but we put all our eggs in one basket and were betting our big clumsy dog would be the first.

The dog was in that vicinity, and I think after the previous day of a lunatic crazy lady yelling at him (a.k.a me), he was terrified that I thought it was him, so he came to me, ears back, rolled over on his back in what I call his “turtle position”, and gave me sad, sad puppy dog eyes. That poor baby. He needs the biggest doggie bone for Christmas for all the stress I give him.


After I finished my IV, it was time to take my crappy half bath. After the past week of profuse night sweats, I really wanted to take a shower, wash my hair, not be so yucky feeling, but I am rationing my shower covers for my line. So half bath it was. And I ended up being so happy that I didn’t get my shower in that day.


The opposite of my rocephin experience, the water felt BURNING to me. Almost that feeling like if you are outside in the freezing cold during winter all day, then quickly hop into the shower to warm up. Pins and needles. I am not sure what the actual temperature was but I turned the water to it’s coldest setting to try to get rid of that feeling. 


While throwing my pajamas in the washing machine, the nausea really hit me hard. Gag. Gag. Gag. And to think I still had to eat my scoop of peanut butter and take the rest of my meds. Yup, a two Marinol kind of day. Eff off nausea.  


Driving to work, I kind of felt like I was playing Mario Kart for the last bit of my route. I unbuttoned my jacket and rolled my windows down. Serious menopausal hot flash. At the age of 26. 


I had to send some certified mail for work, so I had to make a stop at the post office to send it out. While standing there waiting for the stickers to be put on the envelopes and the information to go along with it, I was screaming inside. Oh my god hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! I was holding onto the counter for dear life, hoping I didn’t pass out. 


I hate days I wonder if I am going to make it out whatever errand I try to run. There has been a handful of times at the pharmacy and the bank that I have had to sit down.. and an incident that I passed out at the bank in the past year. I have passed out from the time I was eleven or so for no  reason, but I had luckily never had to be alone or drive when I had it happen to me. I limit myself nowadays but sometimes there is just some things that need to be done. Being a grown up sucks.


When I got to work, I was so dizzy, and my left arm felt like a dead weight. I had lost all muscle tone, and it felt like it was 100 pounds. Super! 


I stared blankly at the computer screen and felt lost at where to begin. It is fortunate for me that business has slowed down a bit for this part of my aggressive treatment as I don’t know how I would be able to do it all. I entered all the delivery invoices, processed checks that we received and headed home. No depositing my check. Just home. 


I was reunited with my couch when I got home, playing around on the computer. I sent out an e-mail, typing with my dead-weight arm, propping it up with a pillow since I couldn’t even hold it up to type anything. I haven’t had this type of feeling in my arms and feet for a very long time. Another thing to make me worried about my upcoming trip. 


I knew that I would need to eat something to start my second round of antibiotics, and the only thing appealing to me was Chinese food. I texted Dave at work asking him what he wanted for dinner, and I think he already knew what I wanted. There must be something in that junk food that my body is craving. Salt? Fat? Crack cocaine? I don’t know. But I guess eating that is better than not eating at all. And it seems to sop up some of the nauseas feeling. Just looking at something bland like a bowl of oatmeal was enough to turn my stomach so I would take the unhealthy yet appeasing food any day. 


I ate my dinner then hooked myself up to my Zithro IV. The wave of exhaustion hit me. I laid down and drifted off to sleep. I woke up to my dog french kissing me a few hours later, IV complete, so I unplugged, flushed, and did my heparin. Still heavy eyed, I laid back down and slept until 10. Grrr! A sabotage to a normal sleep schedule once again. There is just no way when I have that wave of exhaustion that I would even be able to get up and go to bed. 


I finished my oral antibiotics as soon as I got up from my nap and was pretty happy that the day was coming to an end. I was looking forward to the weekend off. Round two of Coartem next week, and then a week off until I go back to see Dr. J. This protocol is just about complete, and that is a big, big relief to me. 🙂

9 thoughts on “December Part 4 – Dead Weight

  1. I am dealing with the menopausal stuff too and Im only 28…I think the tysabri speeds it up or the ms or something…Im rooting for you chica!! And by the way even though you may not feel like it much of the time you totally rock!!!

  2. Your Dr. has such elaborate rotational protocols, you are fortunate to have a Dr. and staff that really know their stuff! My LLMD keeps me on 100mg minocycline and 250mg Azithromycin only…for the past six months, when I started treatment. I think this is controlling some of the symptoms, but not really killing anything because my symptoms change and come and go every few weeks. Do you think this is a cycle of die off and regeneration? The LLMD says “I don’t change them just to change them” (meaning “antibiotics”)…and that “Bacterial resistance is just a theory”. He is well reknowned as being one of the leading researchers of LD, but everything I’ve read about antibiotic protocol says otherwise, and it is highly recommended in literature that the antibiotics be rotated and adding those specific for certain symptoms and systems that are affected, and to address the three different forms the bacteria take. Further, the LLMD told me that there is not enough research to support the cyst form, and that the “cyst form” is just a theory too. I read other Lyme bloggers too, and it just seems that most all of them have had lots of bloodwork screening for several virus’, parasites, heavy metals, vitamin and mineral deficiencies, etc.! The LLMD has not ordered any bloodwork for me, not even liver and kidney function screenings while on the antibiotics. I would love to see your LLMD, but he is so very far away, and most in NY are not accepting new patients! : (.
    I’m glad this phase of your protocol is complete and hoping you’ll be feeling much better! : )

    • Almost done! Still have Coartem. But yes very close! So you are from NY. Do you have the ability to travel at all? I highly recommend Dr J to anyone. He is slowly but surely giving me my life back.

    • Branwen,
      I can certainly understand your concern. Switching up on abx’s is essential to healing, and is your LLMD, really literate if he doesn’t support the fact that there is most definitely a cyst form. I wish you the very best in your recovery! Kim as usual another great read, and have a wonderful time during your time off..

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