December Part 23 – Wake Me Up When December Ends

I think the song goes “Wake me up when September ends”… but whatever. Same difference. I woke up early on Sunday, especially considering I didn’t have to work. Of course I ended up going in later on anyways because there was a storm expected and my car can’t make it up the driveway unless it’s plowed and sanded.

 

It was the first day of my Meropenum and Cipro IVs, twice a day, everyday. Yayyyy. I hadn’t done any of Dr J’s protocols without pulsing so I was wondering how the week was going to work out. I use to do Rocephin twice a day, every day, so it wasn’t really a time sort of thing, just a medication sort of thing, since these antibiotics are much more rugged than Rocephin. I was trying not to think about it too hard, as I didn’t really want to have a self-fullfilled prophecy of a crappy week. I watched Lifetime movies in my jammies, took my nausea meds and began the day. 

 

I was exhausted by the time they were over. I took a short bath then swung by work to get a few things done and get a coffee to wake my butt up!

 

I had good intentions for the day once I got home from dubbing in the office, but I couldn’t muster up any energy other than to switch the laundry over. I had a hard time keeping my balance as I had almost no feeling from my calves down, with the exception of some pain on the soles of my feet. 

 

Dave was so nice and helped get a bunch of things done. He asked me a simple question if I remembered to bring home one of his Christmas presents from my parents house and of course I forgot, and he made a few jokes about my forgetfullness.

 

And then came the water works and hyperventilation. “You are always attacking me! I am so sorry I forgot!” He came over and calmed me down assuring he was joking. I couldn’t help feeling foolish but I really don’t have much control over these things anymore. I can’t believe the craziness he deals with and that he doesn’t resent me. That’s why I love the guy. 🙂

 

Annnnnnnd then it was time for my nighttime IVs. I had that feeling in my eyes and throat like I was going to cry again, although I didn’t know why, and I was so irritated because I felt like I had just done them. Oh wait, I did! LOL Well, one day down, four to go..

 

I got to sleep in because of Monday’s storm so I didn’t have to go into work until I was done my dressing change. I didn’t have to rush and get up to do my IVs, which went pretty well. I did my B12 shot and really wasn’t feeling too bad! I was a little tired and spacey, but I was feeling alright. 

Image 

As you can tell it needed a changing. Turns out it was fine. What is under there appeared to be dried skin from where my rash was healing. The insertion site looked good which was a relief. I never know until they take a good look at it, and I always get a little worried since my skin does get so gross looking. 

 

I got my bloodwork done and everything was within the normal range. On the mark for highs and lows for many, but normal. The only thing that wasn’t normal was my glucose levels, they were fairly high. I really have no idea why that would be, but I really don’t feel like playing doctor and figuring it out for myself. Maybe if I remember I will..  I mentioned the fluid feeling in my chest from a few days prior, it had since then felt like it has lessened, and she said I should tell Dr J. 

 

I decided I was going to put it on my notes for my next appointment unless it gets any worse. I don’t really feel like a chest x ray and like I said, my bloodwork was normal. My pain must have been neuropathy because my liver and pancreas enzyme levels were normal. Phew. Maybe I will have to up my Lamictal again. He said I could up it more, I just haven’t because I had been doing okay with the dosage I was taking.

 

As soon as I got up from the hospital bed, the antibiotics were finally doing their thing. Attacking bugs, making me feel like poo.  I waddled out to my car and headed off to work.

 

As soon as I got there, it was to work on year-end stuff. Before too long, noticing all the mistakes I had made while doing bank statements, not little “oops” sort of things either, and my Quickbooks program not working right, I began to cry. I covered my face as I was embarrassed to be upset at work. 

 

I don’t cry at work. I hold it in until I get out to my car, and cry when no one can see. I was so frustrated, and because the program hasn’t been working for a long time, the business is getting a new computer and Quickbooks program, which is sending me over the edge because I just have no energy for any of that. None whatsoever. I apparently can’t do anything right anyway. It certainly felt that way. 

 

I calmed down and was able to get all the bank statements done. It was definitely time to go home. I was out of it, and Dave knew I was not feeling well without even asking how my day went. He didn’t need to.

 

He offered to help with dinner but I just wanted to be left alone. I was aggrevated by just about anything he did or said. “Just think… almost two days down ( I hadn’t done my nighttime IVs yet) , three to go!” Yeah… That makes me feel so much better! Ass. Go do the dishes. 

 

Just kidding. I know he was trying to help but didn’t really know what to say. I was glad that he went outside to go work on his truck because I was going to be mean to him all night and he really didn’t deserve that. 

 

During my nighttime IVs, I was beyond freezing. I lost all feeling of my legs and feet. I wanted more than anything to just take a nap but I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so cold. Paranoia set in that I was going to have an aneurism from having nothing in my line and being hooked up as I completely forgot about being plugged in while watching TV and trying to keep warm. That would probably never happen, but that’s why they call me crazy Kimmie. 

 

Wanted to write when I was all done my IVs but couldn’t get out of my own way to work on a research paper I have been picking at for the past few weeks. I am never that bad at doing that sort of thing, just completely lacking motivation. I decided to watch a movie and knew it would be an early night for me. And that it was. 

 

2 thoughts on “December Part 23 – Wake Me Up When December Ends

  1. You are such a trooper chica!! I deal with my MS and all the change that has to do with but what is it that you are dealing with? is it a sinle diagnosis or more than one…I just cant really pray for you right without understanding I guess…Im still praying either way!

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