January Part 15 – Here We Go Again

Yay! Sleep! I went to bed around midnight the day we got home from Dr J’s, then woke up at nearly one in the afternoon on Saturday morning. I could have slept longer, but I knew I had work to do since I had missed a day of work. 

 

I looked in the mirror as soon as I got up and thought to myself, yup.. I could definitely wash my hair.. but then decided against it. I was so cold, and didn’t want to say any longer in the bathtub than I needed to. So a quick wash down, some dry shampoo, and deodorant had to suffice. Whatever. I have learned though my time of treatment that life is certainly not a fashion show, even though I do feel a little better about myself when I do get all ready for the day. 

 

I was glad when I got to work to see that some of the work I missed out on during my visit with Dr J was already done for me. Phew! I would hate to get any further behind, especially knowing what I am going to be in for starting on Monday. I finished everything, and did a little extra for Sunday, since I was going to try to learn the new Quickbooks program to do billing and didn’t know how long that would take. I am hoping it will be easy, but life never seems to work out that way. Here’s to hope! 

 

As soon as I got home, I hooked myself up to do a lactated ringer. Dr J wants me to do at least one on my off-antibiotic days from here on out, especially since he thinks my seizure might have had a lot to do with toxicity. He would prefer if I could do two a day, if I can. It is one of those things that I probably could, since it’s not like I have a ton going on, but being off of IVs I really wish could be OFF IVs, other than a flushing and heparin. I really need to respect the process, but sometimes it is hard. I think a big part of it though is that I do have to work. I don’t have a choice, and IVs are very time consuming. Dr J is pretty baffled I am able to even do the short hours I can, and I don’t even think he knows I drive. So I will have to work around it. Hopefully I will start to have a better sleep schedule coming up here, so it won’t be so hard on me and not be as big of a deal to do two of them a day. Once I did my IV for the day, all I could do was non-stop pee for the rest of the day and evening. That is a good thing though! No dehydration and releasing lots of toxins! Just a little annoying. 🙂 

 

I really wanted to do something for the evening, since I am already expecting to be pretty much out of commission for the next few weeks, so my bestie made us a nice dinner, and we headed to the Casino a few minutes down the road from her and the other half of the “make a wish couple’s” house. A little hole in the wall, but still fun. 

 

Fun when you win! LOL Just kidding. I didn’t have very good luck, but it was nice to get out. I enjoyed a gluten free cocktail, and played Roulette. We even got to witness a chick fight, but stupid me headed to the bathroom where the fight was headed. Once again.. I kept having to pee! LOL S. came in there to check on me, since she was afraid I would get in the middle of a hair pulling argument, and we both got a hilarious surprise. The angry girl pooping in the bathroom… with the door WIDE open. hahahaha.  I guess her fight set off her IBS… either way, it was the joke of the night for us. 

 

It was karaoke night there, so I ended up singing “Shoop” by Salt N’ Peppa. My old school jam. It has been a long long time since I have sang, so it was kind of nice, even though there was like 4 people in the audience. Anything to feel like the “good ol’ days” is always a good thing. 

 

After my best and I sang a song, we headed on home in the snowy weather. I was wiped out, but still couldn’t fall asleep at a decent hour. I ended up watching a movie, and hitting the hay. Regardless as to how little an event it was, I was glad I got up on stage to sing again. It has been so long, but it reminded me of my past when things were so different. When I didn’t have an appreciation for the “little things”. You certainly have an appreciation for those things once you lose them. 

 

Today is the last day of freedom before my last round. I payed for my night out, even though I made sure it wasn’t too late of a night for me. Dave had to try to get me out of bed twice. The second time, he was leaving to run Sunday errands, so I figured it would be a good idea to get up since I surely wouldn’t out of my own free will. 

 

I would have actually been to work at a very reasonable time for me, but I desperately needed to wash my hair. There was no ifs, ands, or buts about that one. I laid in the tub, feeling every aching muscle and bone in my body, and washed my hair under the faucet. I always make sure I fill the tub to my belly button on hair washing days, so I can kind of get away with sticking my head under water to try to get some of the shampoo and conditioner out. Without doing that, sometimes my hair looks twice as gross as before I tried to wash it. 

 

I did as much as I could at work, since my treatment starts tomorrow. I was beyond grumpy at work. My Dad (my boss) wasn’t helping the situation at all. I think he just can’t understand some of the basic things I need to be able to concentrate at least for a little bit. Today was really rough on me because he was getting angry at me, because I always need the lightbulb above my desk unscrewed. The light is so bright to me, and he just doesn’t get it. I just don’t think I should have to wear sunglasses inside so I don’t get a headache and eye pain, if something could be so simple. I just need help to do it, since I don’t have the balance to stand on a chair to unscrew it. Ugh. 

 

Once I got home from work, I realized I still had a lot to do, even though I had zero energy left inside me.I have a freak out moment every time I start a new protocol. Things need to be “ready”. I like to have a clean house to start my treatment. I think I do this because I have no control about my treatment, and how I feel all the time, but I feel like I have a little control about having something in order in my life. If that makes sense. 

 

I overdid it. I used every bit of energy inside me to get things done. I swept, vacuumed, did laundry.. minus the folding because everything goes in my “clean basket”, and made a gluten free shrimp scampi. After dinner, I did my last task of the day, making the bed. Okay, now I’m toast. 

 

The bottom of my feet were in so much pain, my knees swollen, yet I couldn’t feel my calves. I was completely out of breath. My fingers were excruciating, and my spine. Okay… I think you get the idea. I was miserable. 

 

Being good and following protocol, I laid down and did a lactated ringer. Tomorrow is my new protocol. I am trying to be optimistic about it, doing my very darndest, but I don’t think it is going to be butterflies, rainbows, and unicorns, like I always try to think. Either way, I’ll get er’ done. Three weeks. I just got to get through these three weeks, and then I am back to see Dr J. 

 

2 thoughts on “January Part 15 – Here We Go Again

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