Chronic Illness and Valentine’s Day

 

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Another blog request! Yay! I love requests. This post is meant for those who are chronically ill, and also for their spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, or whomever you just want to do a little something for. Although Dave and I aren’t really holiday or gift type people, he always makes me feel just a little more special on Valentine’s day, even though we claim to never celebrate this holiday, we always do in some way, shape, or form. I believe these things should happen spontaneously throughout the year, but here are some suggestions to make your day a great one. 

 

As we all know, having your “Valentine” be sick, or you are the one with health issues, your options can be dwindled down quite a bit. So what does one do during this holiday to make their loved ones feel loved? There are plenty of options out there, and here are some of my thoughts for you! 

 

Flowers are always a good thing. I don’t care who the hell you are, you always feel special when you get flowers. That is just the way it is. I always kill them within a few days, but it always brings a smile to my face every time I get flowers. Anyone can give flowers, even the chronically ill! If you are at home, you can often place orders, pay over the phone, and they will deliver them for you. A lot of florists even work online. So, always an option. 🙂 Send your hubby who isn’t sick a nice edible arrangement type basket or chocolates. Men love their food. 

 

A card is meaningful, but what you have to say is more important. Tell that person that they really mean something to you and why. If you are a woman that is ill, make sure you tell your man how much you appreciate and love them. If you are a man, let her know that you love and support her. 

 

For him or for her, look for good recipes online and make a homemade dinner and dessert that is okay for them to eat if they have food sensitivities. Effort always counts. No matter how it tastes. 😉  

 

A gift for her, do something that shows you care. Clean up the house. If she is home all day and unable to do it herself, she will REALLY appreciate it more than any gifts. 

 

Do a care package if your loved one is stuck at home. Movies, magazines, a nice warm blanket, and something for them to do, like a puzzle book. One of my good friends sent me a care package when I was first diagnosed with all sorts of things from puzzles, to nail polishes, magazines, candies and a nice note. This wasn’t on Valentine’s Day, but was a very nice thing to do for me and made my day, no, probably my week.

 

Note: Mother-in-law stop reading at this point. 🙂 

 

Understand that sometimes ahem… Intimacy can be an issue. Not feeling good about yourself, pain issues, tiredness. Be accepting of that. Sometimes just because it is the “love holiday”, it doesn’t get that excitement flowing. It happens. It is a reality with chronic illness. Another blog post one day?  

 

Anyways, there are other ways you can show intimacy. Affection physically and verbally can go a long way. Dave always gives me a big hug in the kitchen when he either comes home from work, or from working outside, and gives me a big bear hug and holds me tight. I rest my head on his shoulder, even though he is often dirty and smells like gear oil, LOL and he always gives me a kiss and then a kiss on my forehead, In that moment, I always forget how terrible things can really be. 

 

Give your loved one a kiss. I don’t care if you look like death and have raccoon eyes, or if you are the one kissing that person. Give that person a kiss.  

 

Massages , hugging, talking and speaking words of affirmation (another important thing to do every single day), or even just sitting there together if that is all you can do. Just to know that you are not alone. 

 

Puppies and kittens are always fun. 🙂 J/K. Don’t get a puppy or a kitten if you are not well enough to care for them. It is always fun to look at them online instead 🙂 🙂

 

If you are chronically ill, show those who care for you that you care. This means your friends who are always there for you too! Flowers (duh), a coffee gift card, a nice note. Something to show them that you appreciate them. Give them a call, or send them a text to see what is going on in their life. 

 

If you can, try to get out and do something. Take your mind off of things and just enjoy some quality time together. Chances are, if you are chronically ill, you will be tired and in pain today, and then tomorrow. And the day after that.  Yes, I know it can be difficult, but pushing yourself to do something even something small, easy, and close to home can really be a boost for you emotionally.  I know I have the tendency to feel like crud for the next day or so, but in my mind, it is so worth it. 

 

Although Valentine’s Day is meant for others, I think it is important to love yourself. If you are the one with the chronic illness, it is important to realize you do love yourself, because you can often forget that. Do what you need to do to feel special. 

 

Treat yourself to some pampering if you can get out. Get that sweater or purse you have been eying online. Paint your nails, even though they might not come out perfect. If you are a guy that is sick, treat yourself to that gadget, or consider going to get a massage. Order that game you want to watch on TV. 

 

Be aware of what your Valentine can or can’t do. Don’t expect that person to go out dancing. Don’t hold standards of the past. If you and your loved one went to this beautiful restaurant every year you were together an hour away, expect that might not happen. Work around what is capable and be understanding if that person is having a really tough day. Plans might have to change last minute, but think of something creative to show you care. 

 

Even renting a movie he/her want to watch at home and laying next to each other on the couch can mean a lot. Even when it’s not a Hallmark holiday, Dave has watched his fair share of Lifetime movies with me. 

 

I know it’s two weeks away, but just giving y’all some ideas! In Lymie time, getting something done can take awhile! Hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! 😀

 

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