February Part 1- A Neurotoxic Break

The last day of January was the first day of my three day break. Looking at the calendar, at the end of February will mark an entire year of having IV treatments. That is a scary thought. And a very sad one. Who knew this would be my life right now? I am sure many of you think the same exact thing.  


No meds. Whoa. What a long IV week it has been. I was a little worried about how my 3 day break would go, but either way I was excited that I was going to have this break before starting my Coartem protocol. My Coartem round last month was definitely not a fun few days, but I know it is kicking some Babesia ass, so I know in the long run it is completely worth it. Mepron didn’t seem to touch my Babesia as much as I would have liked. 


My leg and feet swelling has seem to gone down, but I am making sure every time I elevate them as much as I can. It seems to give me a little bit of relief, as they are still a little painful. 


Work was an absolute disaster for me. Maybe it was frustrations of getting everything done, and having “adult responsibilities”, like trying to book my flight in between, and trying to deal with my health insurance as I know the second month’s payment was due, but no bill in the mail, nor any answers from my insurance agent or the company itself. The company gave me the answer ” I don’t know.” Really? I know this whole health care thing is an absolute disaster, but I feel like since I got my ducks in a row way beforehand, I would have at least gotten some answers. 


I think neurotoxicity was a big part of my issue of the day. Neurotoxicity is the result of exposure of neurotoxins (antibiotics, die-off of the bugs, etc.), and can result in many issues in your nervous system, and disrupts cells that transmit and process signals to the brain. So in other words, I have a ton of “misfirings”. I do my lactated ringers and what I can to detox all the crap out of me, but due to such an aggressive protocol, sometimes it just isn’t enough. This seems to happen to me frequently when I stop my antibiotics lately. Kind of a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” kind of situation.  


Last month’s neurotoxicity caused me to have a very bad seizure. It made my week and a half break last month rather miserable. It causes me to me overly emotional, and what is believed to have dacrystic seizures, meaning crying seizures. Crying for reasons unknown, and losing the ability to stop. 


When I got home, the tears immediately started flowing, and I began to throw a tantrum. I screamed at my animals, and even threw my TV remote at the cat. Luckily I didn’t deck her as I don’t hurt my animals in any way, as they are a part of my family. My anxiety kicked in full gear and the tears came. Maybe it was the neurotoxicity in my brain, or maybe I was just completely overwhelmed by it all. It has surely been a rough emotional couple of months. I cried and cried, until I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. I covered my head under all the blankets I had on me, and tried to fall asleep. 


Saturday was a better day for me. I did my lactated ringer, and went to work and felt a little more accomplished. I decided not to worry about everything, as I really can’t control everything around me. 


I had a mission and one mission of the day. I wanted to do something fun. The past Saturday, I had another experience on my one day break, crying uncontrollably, and didn’t end up doing a darn thing. I feel like I have been cooped up, so ANYTHING getting out of the house would be a wonderful thing to boost my morale. 


Plans with our friends didn’t end up happening, but Dave and I still decided to go out to dinner. My town is a very small town, and is usually a complete ghost town just after Labor Day. For some strange reason, every single restaurant was slammed. Darn. So Dave and I ventured out of town, thinking we would try a restaurant a few towns over that we have never been to. Well, that restaurant was slammed too, without a single parking spot, and cars parked on the side of the road. Yup, not happening. And so we ended up venturing out of New Hampshire to Maine, to try a restaurant that we heard was really good. And we got right in! Yayyyy! I didn’t mind the drive with Dave, since I was feeling up to sitting in the car, which usually kills my back and legs, but it was really nice to have “Dave and Kimmie time”, and just talk. 


Once we got home, we were both pooped. We both watched a show together on TLC, and shortly after, I was able to fall asleep after the long day. I had the feeling I would pay for the evening the next day, even though it was so simple, but to tell you the truth, I really didn’t care. 


2 thoughts on “February Part 1- A Neurotoxic Break

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