I was really hoping that the saying, “in like a lion, out like a lamb” wouldn’t apply to my treatment this next week. “In like a lamb, out like a lamb” sounded much more appealing to me, and I was hoping my positive thinking would get me there.
I wanted to go to bed, but knowing Dave had to be up in an hour at 2 a.m. , I felt like it was a dick head move knowing I would likely wake him up. And so I stayed awake until I heard his alarm clock go off.
Dave has only not been with me when I’ve fallen asleep since I moved in with him over 9 years ago. Without him there, all I do is toss and turn. This time, I was out like a light.
It was Saturday, “the day after”. After a long week, but not as long as I was expecting, I was curious to see how it would effect me having a one day break. Well, it did.
I was feeling pretty out of it, and my favorite, the horrible stomach cramps. I was on the toilet all morning and all day, until I think there was nothing left to come out. C diff was in the back of my mind, since I have certainly had my fair share of antibiotics the past year and a half. I knew this probably wasn’t the case because I feel like I would have been far worse off, but my crazy mind obsesses.
All I could do is keep an eye out. I’ll know it for sure if there is something I needed to address immediately. I am a lot more careful about that now, it is something that I have learned. I use to stay too quiet about things in fear I would sound like I was complaining. I hate complaining. And so, I definitely suffered more than I had to. When I first went to Dr J’s, Dr S said to me, “Tell him EVERYTHING”.
Where does someone with an upset stomach go to eat? Mexican food. LOL. It reiterated in my mind I definitely wasn’t dying considering I ate a half pound of melted cheese on all that food, and was doing alright. I enjoy this little restaurant in my town, and I like that they do make things with corn flour too, so it is gluten friendly.
I almost didn’t make it to the restaurant. As soon as I got into the car I started feeling light headed, but I really wanted to go out and do something before my IV week. We sat at the bar to wait for a table to open up and I could feel the wave that I usually get before I pass out. Not gonna happen, not gonna happen. I drank a lot of water and tried to get my mind to not fixate on the way I was feeling. Sometimes I am able to fight it off, and this time I did. Once we got to our table, I felt a lot better. Maybe the lighting didn’t help in the bar area, I’m not really sure. Either way, I am glad I didn’t have an episode that Dave would have to carry me out to the car.
Sunday began my IV week. I was off rhythm, as it has been a month since I have had to do any in the morning. The past week had been nighttime only, which I like a lot better.
I was later for work than I usually am on Sunday mornings since my estimation of time it would take was off. All was forgiven with a phone call though . 🙂
I could barely keep my eyes open doing my infusion. I think it is the Cipro that gets me. At least I was planning on being a cruddy employee for the rest of the week, so if I do fall asleep, it won’t be the end of the world. I just hate it when I do, as if your bag has been empty for awhile, blood likes to creep up the line.
I had that high spacey feeling that I still haven’t gotten use to when I was at work. I focused all my energy on getting things done, and I accomplished everything and then some. I didn’t want to be in a panic for the rest of the week since I knew I would be running behind doing the IVs in the morning.
On my way home I had to go to the bank, since I had a few paychecks in my car that I had yet to deposit. I didn’t feel good while I was waiting, so I had to lean on the counters there so I wouldn’t fall or pass out.
I rested the second I got home until it was time to cook dinner. Dave and I cooked together, gluten free chicken and spinach lasagna. I felt terrible, and my feet no longer had any feeling other than as light as air, but I was happy. I like doing things like that with him.
My night time infusions went much more quickly. Having Dave there as well as watching movies makes for a nice distraction to make them go by faster than in the morning. My stomach was still bothering me, but had improved from the day before. I doubled up on my probiotics just to be on the safe side.
I was wide awake for the majority of the night. I didn’t do anything, just laid there, mostly staring off into outer space. My body felt heavy, and like I was outside of it. I couldn’t really move anything until I got out of my trance enough to transfer to the bed, which I knew would have been more comfortable. And so I laid, unable to do much, except listen to my eyes blink. LOL That drives me crazy. Sometimes it seems super loud, like everyone in a room would be able to hear it. Maybe I just tune out everything around me and that is all that is left.