March Part 13 – Detoxing Brings Out the Crazy in Me

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The trip to DC definitely did a doozy on my body. My legs were all knotted up, and the temperature was completely off in each leg. The sides of my feet were painful, but I didn’t have much feeling on the bottoms of my feet at all. She did a lot of circulation work in hopes that I would get some more feeling back. For the first time in months, she could really feel the inflammation in my knees. They do get tensed up, so I walk like the tin woman, but they are never really inflamed. She had to work out a lot of knots in my shoulders and the back of my neck was “spongey” once again. I know that the massage was doing some heavy detox as my nose was pouring more than usual.

I went to bed much earlier than usual when I got back from my appointment in DC. The walking, traveling, and trying to tackle the museum wore me out. The day before, I slept for 16 hours but that just didn’t seem like enough to restore my strength for the day. I did however, get up when my alarm went off in the morning. Hmm.. this is different?! I will take it! I had a lot to do for the day, and although I need all the sleep I can get, I get so angry at myself for sleeping half of the day away.

I had errands to do once I was done massage. Ugh. I dread having to do them, as all I really want to do when I get done work and massage, I just want to get home. I did the drive thru at the bank so I didn’t have to walk inside, but I also had to go to the post office to mail off some bills for work, and I had baby shower gifts sitting in my car for nearly a month.

I really didn’t have a choice to get to the post office, which I hate to stand in line as there is nothing to hold onto, but I know I am suppose to take it easy after massage. I came home to obsessively look at things that needed to be cleaned, and I tackled the bathroom, minus the shower, swept, and the most taxing thing that was a bad idea all around, wash the walls. Yup. I undid everything that Gayle just did. But no little kitty prints, dirt, and dog slobber on the white walls in my home to look at when I am laying there and doing absolutely nothing.

This was my first day of doing two lactated ringers instead of one. For those of you who do not know what a lactated ringer is, it is the big bags of fluid that you would be given at the hospital for hydration. But when run full boar, it is a great tool for detoxing. I didn’t do very well. My first bag I could already feel like my legs were turning to rubber. A few hours later I did my second bag, and the pain in my back was back, and I felt terrible all around. I felt like I got punched in the face, and was completely out of it.

I watched TV and skipped a day of writing. I just laid there on the couch. Thoughts kept going through my head about the month to come, and hoping to be able to report back that I am ready to have my line out. I don’t really have any control over it, if I am ready I am ready, if I am not, I’m not, but I couldn’t help thinking about it. I was thinking about the month of treatment ahead, and was worried about how I was feeling right then and there and how sick I really felt. I thought that this was not a very good start.

I took a shower before bed to really wash my hair and get clean, since I had massage oils and epsom salt residue on me, not to mention the grossness of traveling and being on the plane. Ahhh. So relaxing. 🙂 I had no trouble falling right asleep that night.

Wednesday I got up feeling like I was completely hungover. Thanks lactated ringers, you are the death of me. I was getting ready in the morning and decided to weigh myself, and I gained six pounds from doing my two ringers. What the fuck??! Insult to injury I suppose. At least I know I was detoxing as I was clearly herxing from all the die off coming out.

Although I felt like I got hit by a bus, then pushed in front of a train, I pushed through it and got to work. At a reasonable time too! Yay! I felt bad that I was getting snappy at my Dad, as he kept coming in the office to use the phone, “Do you want me to mess this all up? Leave me alone if you want this done right!”. It is his office, and he does have a habit of hovering or disrupting, but I really don’t think he realizes it and I know it is not intentional, but I knew I shouldn’t have been a jerk. Lyme rage. Word vomit as I call it as the words just seem to spew out without me thinking them over.

Even though I was feeling the way I was, I had a lot more mental clarity than I have in a long time, and accomplished a lot. It will be the end of the quarter for the business, so there is a lot of reports to get done and that is what I was really focusing on. I got almost all of them done since it was the final week of payroll of the quarter. What a relief that I have less stress about work for the month to come.

I called the physical therapy office in town that a lot of people recommended to me awhile after I got home. I didn’t get a phone call back (I now realize it was probably close to when they were closing), but I started getting really angry that no one got back to me. Why do they not want to help me!? What the hell! They don’t even know me and they hate me!

And then I started getting anxious because I had the feeling they would call me when I was trying to catch up on sleep on Thursday morning. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I can’t control how my mind or my thought processes. I just need to sort them out and realize what is rational and what isn’t rational.

Speaking of this, in the evening, I was worried because I felt like my teeth hurt. I knew it was probably from brushing too hard, but I had this fear that all my teeth were just going to fall out. LOL. I know. Ridiculous. I even made Dave look at the back of my teeth to see if anything was wrong with them, as I felt like they were loose and thought my gum line looked like it was pushing my teeth up. Kimmiecakes thought process was out of commission for the night.

Dave reassured me that my teeth were indeed NOT falling out, and that I was fine. “See? My mouth is like that too. Your teeth are fine, your gums are fine.” The things Dave has to deal with on a day to day basis. He deserves a medal, at least his favorite dinner, but having him pick up the stuff to make tacos and ice cream for dessert really kills the surprise element for him. My bestie needs to get on taco night, as she makes them way better than I do and have us over for dinner. 🙂 If you are reading this then make us tacos. Please and thank you. 🙂 🙂 And ice cream too.

Once Dave finally got the crazy out of me for the night, I sat and watched movies, and finally did some writing.  I figured I would skip the ringers for the day, as it was definitely a little too much for me. Thursday I will tackle two again, even though I really don’t want to, but hey, doctors orders, I need to get them done, and kick some Lyme butt along the way.

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