March Part 15 – Will it Be the Same?

The weekend was not long enough. I felt like I was ready to start this protocol all over again, but now I know I was not. I got up fairly early for a Saturday morning, and sat on the couch, did some writing, and sipped my coffee that Dave got me. I was trying to decide what I wanted to do for the day, as I know I take it even easier once I start my protocols, as it is important to not overdo it and I tend to either way. I can’t just sit around. I never could. I was completely miserable when I did sit around and felt like my world had stopped and everything else was going when I was in a really bad place.  


I sent a message to one of my friends to go out to dinner, as it was easy enough, and she has been dating a new guy for over a month and I knew she really wanted Dave and I to meet him. 


I went to work and felt really light headed. I prepared for the next day, getting everything ready so I would have an easy day on Sunday, and be able to work on Monday’s work… the day I was to begin treatment again. 


By the time I got home, I was done. Toast. I almost called to cancel dinner plans, but I really wanted to try to take my mind off of feeling terrible. I did a lactated ringer and laid down on the couch, and faded off to a light sleep to try to get some stamina back. We ended up having a good dinner, and I had a good time. We were back home early so I relaxed. I decided to skip the second ringer as it seemed to be the death of me for the week. 


Sunday seemed to fly by. Dave made sure I didn’t sleep to far past my alarm, and once again (quite possibly the best husband ever) enjoyed a cup of coffee he brought me. I didn’t really feel like getting ready, so in a matter of minutes I was ready to head out the door. 


I was a little foggy at work, making a lot of mistakes on entering invoices (hey, that’s why we check them) to be able to see what we needed to order for Monday and Tuesday’s deliveries. I was kind of excited though that I remembered a lot of product numbers, even though I entered in the wrong products. Whoops. You wanted haddock? Oh… well you are getting salmon instead. Like I said, we check them to make sure I do a perfect job. 


I was in a lot of pain when I was sitting at the computer desk. I couldn’t get my back in a comfortable position, and my joints in my fingers were really sore. I pushed through it though because I didn’t know how this week would be. 


I have a habit the day before starting a new protocol to freak out and make sure the house is clean. I was so sore and was getting really dizzy, but I wanted to clean the house. Sweep, vacuum, laundry (minus folding and just throwing in my “clean clothes” hamper), clean the bathroom.. everything needed to be done. I was completely out of breath trying to get everything done, sitting on my knees and taking lots of breaks, but I finally got it done. I was relieved but knew it would be a bad decision. 


I cooked dinner and spent the night on the couch. I asked Dave while I was tossing and turning on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position, “I’m not getting my line out, am I?”. He looked at me and said, “No, I don’t think so.” I wanted to prove him wrong but I was changing my tune from easy to a little less optimism. Come out, rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns, I can sure use you right about now.

6 thoughts on “March Part 15 – Will it Be the Same?

  1. Keep the faith and I know that isn’t easy! I am sitting here with the help of pillows and using one hand to type; you are capable of everything…not always in the way you expect necessarily, but you are capable! Friends are behind you. Things always have a way of working out. Warm embrace. xo

  2. Just started reading your great blog a while ago. Our daughter was diagnosed with Lyme and co infections back in 2008. Life has never been the same since. She improved somewhat back in 2009 after taking orals for over 9 months, then started to have problems tolerating meds.

    Tried herbs etc for a short time, but did not want to continue. Then IV’s for 5 months, but had issues tolerating the treatment and possible allergies.

    So she is in limbo, maybe going to try the nasal mold treatment that Dr. Brewer is trying with his patients.

    I admire your strength and determination!!!

    I am on the outside trying to stand by our daughter. Treatment just seems to be too difficult to tolerate for her. I read your posts and my heart goes out to you as you refuse to give up and try to push through. Our daughter stops treatment and sometimes the Dr. does as her mental health becomes an issue. I read how horrible the treatments etc make you feel and realize through your writings that some of the responses, etc our daughter experiences are probably detox related and the ” feelings of worse before feeling better.”

    She does have MTHFR , we are told it is minor, however, her folate is below normal. I have always felt that some of her problems related to treatment is that her body does not detox.

    Lots of meds, supplements even in tiny doses seem to give wierd side effects.

    Thanks so much for blogging and sharing your journey, I know it is not easy to get through each day and not many understand unless they have Lyme or care for someone that has it.

    My best to you !!!

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