Dave was pretty grossed out when he saw I never even bothered to change out of my sweaty clothes from physical therapy when I went to bed. Whatever, I was beat. I was so tired and spaced out I forgot my phone was on vibrate when I went to bed, so of course I was running REALLY late in the morning.
I scattered to get ready, skipped my leg shaving even though it was massage day (sorry Gayle), threw on some clothes, that I am now thinking might have been from the dirty hamper, and ate a banana to take all my pills I needed to for the morning. It was my second day of Coartem.
It was raining pretty good outside. Being a Lymie makes me a weather woman. My back, feet, and joints can always tell when it is rainy.. or snowing.. or cold. The beautiful weather here in New Hampshire was short lived.
As soon as I made it to work, I jumped right in and entered all the invoices. I had my work checked and got some help with the easy work like stapling papers so I could finish everything I needed to do, as it is always anticipated that I will be late the following day. They have little faith in me. LOL. Okay maybe they are just being realistic.
After my quick appearance at work, I went and saw Gayle for my massage. My back and hips were pretty painful and my feet were pretty tense, but to her surprise my legs were doing much better. She focused more on lymph work with me this week. IV week tends to fill me with toxins, but I am sure my margarita and slice of quesadilla didn’t help over the weekend either.
I got absolutely no sleep last night. I was hot then cold, hot then cold. Then Chance decided to jump on the bed and lay on top of me. And I would kick him off and he would do it again. Dave was clearly crossing the invisible boundary line onto my side of the bed, and breathing on me, and he felt like a sweaty human furnace.
Today was the last day of treatment this month, other than my optional days of Rifabutin and Minocycline to help with my pain issues or if I altogether do poorly on my time off antibiotics.
I woke up, really unrested, and started my routine. I surprisingly was able to get right up and going. Then it all went downhill. I went to let my dog back into the house after letting him out, and he came right over for me to take him off his rope. I unclipped him, and tried to lift his leg as it was caught in the rope. Well, he decided to turn around and book it.
He was GONE. All I could see was a little black speck in the distance, which would be my Labrador/Great Dane, running around in circles in a field far behind our house, and then into our neighbors yard. I tried calling him and calling him, as there was no way I could actually run and try to get him.
I started to panic. My dog, our child, was gone for good! I then yelled in the nicest voice I could under the circumstances, “Who wants a pupperoni?!” And then there was a miracle.
He came racing back to me and I was able to grab his collar and bring him inside. Of course I gave him praise, as you can never punish a dog for finally coming or they will associate coming back to you as a negative, and pet him and gave him treats. I started crying and gave him a hug, as I really don’t know what I would do without him.
It set me up for failure for the day. Anxiety and strong emotions seem to trigger symptoms. My body began to be really sore, and I was in a fog. Oy. Damn you , Chance! I basically did the bare minimum at work, and realized I had boogered up payroll since the beginning of the year, so I of course needed to fix it. My brain was fried, it was time to go home.
As soon as I got home I of course had to spoil my rotten dog and give him a Kong filled with peanut butter to chew on while I laid on the couch. I wanted nothing more than to take a nap but it just wasn’t happening.
I decided to play around on Facebook and saw a picture of a bullseye rash that I girl I know had posted. Reading a few of the comments made me really angry. “Lymes… I know like 4 people with it and they have occasional aches but they are fine”. Among other things along the lines of “quit being a vagina”.. I can’t remember the wording but you get the point. I felt the blood boiling and put in my two cents.
I would never wish this disease upon anyone but I do wish sometimes that doubters could live a day in a serious chronic Lymie’s shoes. I will bet you that you will hate your life. But you can at least go back to your life. I can’t. Neither can many of us. So fuck you. And by the way, it is LYME, not LYMES. Fucking moron. End rant.
I was suppose to eat light but decided on a little comfort food for the evening. I am kind of glad that I did because the final dose (yes the final dose!) of Coartem seems to be making me a little queasy. I have been freezing all night, and the air hunger is driving me nuts. I hate Babs herxes. Feeling like someone is sitting on your chest really sucks. I am starting to get tired now, and I know it is probably going to be a pain to get ready for bed. I can’t feel my feet and my arms are starting to feel heavy. But guess what?
This month’s treatment is done! It didn’t go exactly how I had planned in my head, but that means that it is really doing something. And even though it has been tough I have been making really good progress with physical therapy, and even a short grocery shopping trip. Hopefully this will be a good break for me! I am armed with my green juices for tomorrow to do some detoxing, and that is going to be my main focus before I go back to DC. 🙂