Mind over matter works. At least in my case it does.. most of the time.. okay not ALL the time. I was able to get everything I wanted to get done for the day. I wish Dave was here when I had the most energy (generally between 10 and 2) to help out, or at least give me moral support as I get some sort of attachment to junk, while sorting through all the things (mostly papers) I have accumulated in the past year and a half of treatment. I know, I know.. you are probably thinking why don’t I put everything in a filing cabinet? I hate file cabinets. I am not sure why, but maybe it has something to do with having to use them at work. Not that I am very good at organizing there either. lol. 😮
My Monday morning IVs were rough. I always feel fine until I do Cipro. I could barely keep my eyes open once again, so I did my best to stay focused and not fall asleep. I hate to fall asleep during my IVs. If you don’t unplug yourself once your IV is done, blood will start to come up the line. No good. I m sure I have a few drips of blood on the carpet by now from doing this.
I was really depersonalized at work. I was still working on my spreadsheets, and I could see myself hitting the keys on the keyboard, but couldn’t actually feel myself doing it. It is a strange feeling that I hate. This is probably one of the worst symptoms to have, for me anyway. At least I know the meds are doing their job.
When I got home, I saw that Dr J had mailed me my notes from my recent appointment. It was kind of boring to be honest with you. It was very basic, going through my protocol of the month, why he lowered the therapeutic days, and the testing he wants me to get done. A note that put a smile on my face was that this is anticipated to be my last intravenous cycle. Woohooo. Fingers crossed guys, July my line will be out. I am pretty hopeful.
It was an absolutely beautiful day out. I decided to get into my swimsuit and get outside. Being on antibiotics, Tetracycline being one that I am taking, makes you more prone to sunburns so I didn’t spend that much time out there, along with the fact last week I did terrible standing and talking when it was only 70 degrees outside just a few days prior. I needed it though, some natural vitamin D and a tan. I am a whitish shade of gray. LOL. To be honest, other than a little bit of flushed cheeks, I didn’t get the fabulous tan I was looking for. Tan in a can it is. 😉
Now I am honest. LOL. Dave’s Mom stop reading. Like right now. Okay now it’s safe. I took my bikini picture and sent it to Dave, as I always do first bikini time of the season. I actually looked at my picture when I went inside and it wasn’t so bright, and found myself a little mortified they looked nothing like my pictures when I was 105 pounds. I know that is underweight for my height, but seeing yourself at a bloaty 135 pounds instead doesn’t make you feel the greatest. I am sure that most of it will come off once I begin orals again. Barf. Poop. Barf.
We did a really simple dinner for the night, and I was happy my nightime IVs went really well. I felt well enough that I was able to take a bath before bed, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it in the morning, since it would be my last IV day of the month.
I went to bed early, even for me. I tossed and turned, kind of disappointed even though I was tired I couldn’t fall asleep. I was on fire, and sweating so much my hair was beginning to soak. I just couldn’t find that “cool” spot on the bed. Well.. so much for my bath. I think the AC is going to get hooked up very soon. I got up and took another Klonopin, and that seemed to do the trick. ZzzZZz
I woke up really early, as Chance, my Dane/Lab cross was being a bed hog, and somehow pushed me sideways in my sleep. I was happy though, I would get an early start on the last day of my IVs. Last day! I just had to get through the day, then I would have one day off before I start Coartem again. I am looking forward to the lonnnnnnng break I have before heading back to DC. I am hoping it will go much better with a less toxic treatment.
Getting ready, I noticed I am starting to get little red spots on my neck. You never know what you are going to get with all these coinfections. The general consensus is that it is Babesia causing these issues, so I am planning on attacking full force when I start my Coartem, which targets Babesia. I am a little scared now that it might not go as smoothly as I am hoping for.
My calves were extremely tight during my massage, but I had good circulation in my legs. My feet on the other hand, weren’t so great. I think the Cipro is being a pain in the ass, as well as trying to be more active even in the small doses that I can right now.
My nighttime IVs went out with a bang. I felt terrible. I couldn’t focus on anything, everything was glossy. I started my tics again, but at least Dave lightened the mood. I did my regular “AHHH”, and Dave replied to me with a smile on his face, “Really, you don’t say!”. I would then sit and do my raising of my arms. My thriller dance. I guess all you can do is laugh. It doesn’t really bother me anymore, and Dave doesn’t even notice half the time I have been doing it so long, but it is kind of annoying to know that somewhere inside this head of mine, that they are still there. On the bright side, they have calmed down very very much in the past few months.
I could barely walk to go get my clothes for bed. I just pick my clothes out of the dryer, and my knees just about buckled to the floor. I grabbed onto the dryer door to hold myself up, and by luck somehow that door didn’t break right off. Phew. I had another sleepless night, tossing and turning, and my mind just wouldn’t shut off. One thing that ran through my mind was I was all done IV week. The past few days have been rough, but they are behind me. I know with my reaction that my body is in full fight mode so I can hopefully be one little step closer to remission.