May Part 13- Fading

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Okay. The high of happiness has definitely worn off. I am now getting a little scared, even though I know my line coming out a little early needs to be done. I think  am going to miss my lactated ringers, even though I hate doing them. I don’t know why as it really takes no effort as I am planted on the couch at night anyway. Definitely a mental thing.

 

It has been two days and not only is my dressing coming off again, my skin is cutting and raw as can be underneath. Not to mention how itchy it is. I do the “pat” on it during the day, but Dave keeps waking me up telling me I am scratching it in my sleep. I just put a patch on where it has opened, and my skin is NOT liking it whatsoever. I can already see an open sore. UGH. 

 

When I got my dressing changed just a day before, my nurse said jokingly that I might have a waffle imprint scar on my chest (the imprint of the dressing that seems to stick the best)… not cool if this happens. We will see though, next week. I easily scar, so this will be rather interesting.

 

Another thing that has worn off is my bundles of energy and accomplishments. I am wiped out and have hit a brick wall. Today I went to a farm down the road to pick up my Mom a hanging plant for her birthday and some flowers for my whiskey barrel on my steps, then I headed off to the pharmacy, and I was done. Bags under my eyes and so sore. During conversations at my parents I really couldn’t seem to pay attention to what they were saying, kind of like the teacher on Peanuts while I leaned on the counter to get a little more balance. 

 

I clearly need to learn boundaries even though I want to build up endurance. I will learn though. One thing I do know though, is that a lot of noise and lights still trigger me very badly, so I do my best to avoid them. 

 

Doing my writing now, my eyes keep on blurring out, but it seems if I keep blinking constantly my eyes will come to focus again. Luckily no one is around so no one can see me looking like a weirdo haha. It is what it is. I am sore and it feels like it is a million degrees in my house, even though my thermostat says it is only 65. I think hooking up the air conditioner and possibly getting another one is in the NEAR future. 

 

Things have been a little bit stressful now that I booked my flights. Holy crap expensive this time. The plus side of getting my line out I won’t have to go back to DC nearly as often. So this is kind of a blessing on me..and my wallet. I don’t know what the heck I would do without my parents helping me pay for my IV treatments. Well I do know.. I wouldn’t have been able to afford them, and I really don’t know if I would be where I am today with the amount of progress I have made without them and having a doctor as brilliant as Dr. J. 

 

With it being a long weekend, I have the plans to sleep even though with a day off I am going to try to do something with Dave, maybe head out of town to do a little shopping as we have some gift cards we have not used from Christmas. 

 

 I could go for a nap right now in hopes I will have a little more energy and get rid of this splitting headache and not be as achy and sore, but it is really hard for me to fall asleep in the afternoon. And so I will relax, and do another ringer. 

 

My days are counting down and I want to make the most of them. 

 

With at least some relaxation I intend to grab dinner in town with Dave… I am thinking Mexican. We’ll see. 🙂 Hope everyone has a good and safe Memorial Day weekend! xo

4 thoughts on “May Part 13- Fading

  1. Kim, last time I went to D.C. it was the last week of June thru the 4th of July – prime time! I got a group discount on my room; when I left on the 5th of July hotel rooms went down 50% of my group rate. Sounds like you will miss this time frame; anyway, prices should go down a bit after the 4th.

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