The past couple of days have really been about recouping. I have been so excited to get out and do a little walking…. even though it is REALLY limited, and I didn’t make a full success of my Walmart trip, but either way.. really exciting. I need to learn limits as I am hurting terribly and exhausted.
Today is my 27th birthday. Last night I was thinking to myself that I am creeping up on 30… yikes! At least nowadays there is many ways to look youthful forever, although I could potentially look like a cat lady.
Let’s hope not. LOL
It was like any other day to me, to be honest. I use to make a huge deal about my birthday. Everyday for about a month I would remind Dave that my birthday was coming up, and it ended up being like Hunakka, getting gifts for several days, I am assuming to shut me up. This year was different though, nothing. It took me awhile to even realize it was my birth month, let alone pester Dave about how important this day was.
I have realized being another year older means another year that I feel I have missed out on my twenties. Years that I feel like should be some of the prime years of one’s life. And it makes me incredibly sad. Sad enough that if I really think about it, it makes me tear up and I can’t believe this all has really happened. But it did, and here I am today, another year older.
Dave asked me yesterday if there was anything I wanted, and I told him in all seriousness, “a miracle”. I don’t think a miracle is going to happen, but at least I am heading in the right direction which I am happy about. It just doesn’t seem fast enough to me. After over 20 years of infection, I need to realize that is a lot of years of bugs to kill for me to reach some level of remission. I guess if I was to blow out some candles on a cake, I would wish for this year to be completely different. Although I know I likely won’t be “there” yet, I am hoping for even bigger changes.
Not having limitations. Not having to be chaperoned. Errands without fear. Driving more than my short radios I allow myself for safety. No seizures. Less numbness and pain. Hoping 27 will be my year that I get to have more of these things back. Little by little everyday.
It’s been a low key day. Work, therapeutic massage, an easy dinner. Perfect. I am hoping for a good movie on TV tonight while I hook myself up to what will be one of my last days of my lactated ringers.
I have felt a lot of love and caring from friends and family, so thank you. Sometimes something that should be a happy celebration can sure make you miserable but that has brightened up my day more than you know. 🙂