Yesterday was a very busy day. My biggest fear was that I would herx like I have been doing the following day after my antibiotics, and this week has not been a whole lot of fun. :p At least I know treatment is really working as it is hitting me what seems far harder than my last round. I am not positive though…my memory is a little fuzzy.
My first appointment was taking my puppy Cooper for another round of shots at the vet. This is still kind of a long drive for me, as it is just before where my Hannaford’s grocery shopping adventure was when I was seeing a bit of blue skies and was having a much better day.
Of course their office was running behind, and the lights were really bothering my eyes. I was getting a bit lightheaded from it, and I was feeling aches and pains throughout my body. I knew I needed to snap out of it, however, and I pushed through it.
I am pretty anxious and I am hoping everything will be alright. It turns out that Cooper has what the veterinarian called it a “high” heart murmur. She told me that sometimes large breed dogs have this due to a valve defect, but it can go away in time. The other possibility if it does not do away he likely has heart disease. Great. Just great.
My mind instantly went back to Dave and I’s first dog, Doey, as he suffered from chronic Pancreatitis and after battling with it for two years with IVs, several pills, and a strict diet had to be put to sleep at the young age of three. Cooper needs another appointment to see where to go from here, as anesthesia will be an issue for him when it is time to get him neutered. Let’s hope in time this all goes away…
I had to drop Cooper back off at home and I left for appointment number two for the day, the gynecologist’s office. I am getting tons of action lately. LOL But I was hoping for an answer for what to do with all of my issues.
Yup… I am a mystery. She did suggest the laparoscopic surgery as Dr P. had suggested.. well… “up to me”.. But we ended up deciding together for my next appointment in September to see how things are going with me symptom wise, and order another ultrasound before jumping the gun on a surgery.
I like her a lot, as she is fairly Lyme literate, and understood my hesitation for going under the knife. She is the only one who suggested a future ultrasound and I think that is a great option for me in a few months as my last one was done in May.
Nighttime was rough for me. It was a long day but I have been getting emotional with Dave lately. As you remember I did have my rage issues with him earlier this week. This was different. It seems like he is always angry at me, usually with cleaning and picking things up around the house. He seems to be getting angry about what there is with food around the house, what seems like everything I am doing wrong. I am doing a lot for myself and pushing myself too hard, and I am just getting upset and feeling like I am not good enough.
He did seem pretty snarky with me, but I really don’t know if I am taking things too personal or overreacting. Sometimes it is hard to tell if I am making up a situation in my head that is more than what it is.
I give him massive credit for everything he has done for me, as I know he loves me and has done almost everything since I have been really sick, but I just have this feeling like he is fed up and tired of me sometimes. Ugh. I don’t know. I do know however that I get my feelings hurt too easily with anything said to me sometimes and I believe that very well could be it.
Cipro does mess with my head a whole lot, as I know in the past memories that I dissociated from in the past have all came flooding back to me while on treatment that I wished I never remembered. It takes an emotional toll on you. I think all of this may be Bartonella related. Either that or I have completely gone off the deep end.
My legs were in excruciating pain at night, and I could not go to sleep when I wanted to, so I laid with my feet elevated to watch a movie. I was kind of pouty when I went to sleep, but I knew that tomorrow is always a new day.
Today is the last day of treatment this month. I have been counting down the days this week. I am psyched. It was a very busy day. Work was crazy busy. The phone was ringing off the hook, entering invoices, truck problems, lots of checks coming in to credit.. it was insane. I am very happy we are having a great summer though. Keeps me out of trouble. 😉 I didn’t even have time to notice any sort of ache, pain, dizziness etc. this morning. I needed to be a machine lol. I was pretty awesome as I got everything done and I am willing to bet when I get everything checked tomorrow I will have done everything right!
I rushed home, let the dogs out, then began running some errands (with a few beeps and yelling at a woman that decided to park at the exit of a parking lot so no one could get out.. yeah.. there really are some tourists that are that stupid..), and headed over to Dr S’s for an adjustment. There was a lot of snap crackle pops, and then I was off yet again to run more errands.
First on the agenda was depositing my paycheck. I waited for a guy to back out of his parking spot to take his, and I ran into the crazy lady that parked in the middle of the exit again! Really? Twice in a day?! This time, she tried to go around me, trying to drive over the curb at the door of the bank because she didn’t want to wait. I ended up not letting her go around, as it is one way, one lane, and very tight.. and certainly going over the curb at the bank entrance is not okay. I turned toward her to make a wide turn into my parking spot. I didn’t have to do that, but if she hit my car it would have been her fault for her stupidity. I decided to only make a rude shrug of the shoulders at her, as it would have been really awkward meeting her in the bank or the grocery store. LOL
I picked up a bunch of items at the grocery store, luckily almost all in the refrigerated section to make breakfast for dinner, and get stuff for ice cream sundaes. I know I am not suppose to have sugar, but I have been craving a frozen yogurt, and figure I will pop a Diflucan tonight to combat my unwise eating choices.
P.S. I saw this idiotic lady ONCE AGAIN while I was waiting in traffic at a gas station, backing out and nearly hitting another car. They were young kids, and they weren’t so nice as I was. All I could hear is screaming out the kid’s window with a lot of bad bad words. haha. I guess I am not the only one in their path. It was clearly time for them to park for the day.
Dave seemed psyched to come home to a full breakfast for dinner and knowing there was dessert. 🙂 Yay! 🙂 I told him that I was winning back his love, and he told me what I really needed to hear after last night, “Of course I love you and I will never think you do everything wrong.” Phew. See? I guess it all really was in my crazy Lyme-riddled brain and I was overreacting.
I am winding down for the day, as I feel like the past couple of days have been GO GO GO! We finished dinner and not going to lie I feel like a little kid in excitement for my frozen yogurt. I have been so good about cutting back sugars to next to nothing, and I really have been having an unfulfilled sweet tooth which sucks to know you really can’t have sugar anymore because you are full of fungus, it is against the Lymie diet, and you are extremely intolerant (I am making this exception, screw it). I am hoping the rest of the of the night to go alright but either way I am really happy that this week is done. I am really welcoming this break, and am hoping it will be my best yet. 🙂