September Part 4 – The Countdown

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I left off with my task of making dinner the last time I wrote. By that time in the late afternoon, I was tired, and one of my common neurological Lyme symptoms, numbness, had begun to take over. Lesson of the day: do not use sharp knives if you have a loss of feeling in your hands and can no longer feel your fingers. I sliced up some onions to throw in with some kielbasa on the stove, and watched some TV while I waited for dinner to finish and for Dave to get home from work.

Once Dave was home and we were ready to eat, Dave exclaimed, “Ew! What happened to your finger?!” I looked down to see blood, and a very sliced open pointer finger. Oops. At least at that point I could still not feel it, but I was harassed while plating our food that it was probably full of Lyme blood. LOL I am willing to bet all the little spirochetes would all be cooked out if there was. Extra flavoring? After a couple hours I could definitely feel my fingers once again. Ouchies.

Wednesday was my second day of treatment this week. I am sad to say the depression has come back some (I am so thankful it is not as bad as it was), so I am beginning to believe it is the combination of drugs I am on the second week of treatment. I did get some motivation to get some work done, and was doing a lot better than I anticipated. I was in a lot of pain, particularly the connective tissue in my neck (there is also a lot of lymph back there), so as soon as I got home I kind of shut down. I didn’t want to do anything.

Once again the dizziness took over at night, which meant slacking with my shower. Dave is always asleep by the time I get ready for bed, so I can never get the chance to have him at hand in case I have any issues or to be able to try to get a good shower in.

Today is my day off, well, it would be my day off, but I wanted to get some work done as I will be leaving New Hampshire for my appointment with Dr J. I am beginning to get really nervous. I have printed out my paperwork, and have thought of what I need to bring with me on my short trip, as we fly there, have my appointment, fly back and drive back home on the same day. Dave is out of vacation time, and it saves us a few hundred dollars on a hotel.

I am beginning to have that overwhelming feeling every time I go back to DC. I was reading my questions on their form, and one asks the top three issues since my last appointment. Hmm… I honestly don’t really know what I am going to write. There is also another question about other concerns I may have.  I feel like I could come across as whiny, and I don’t really intend to. I hate whiny people, so I have the feeling putting it on paper I am going to hate myself. It has been rougher than I anticipated this past month, especially with Babesia coming back to pay me a visit. I am going to have to put some thought into this…

Realistically, I know my appointment isn’t going to be as positive I would like, but I am getting antsy not knowing exactly what is going to happen. I am willing to bet Mepron will be back, as well as Coartem. My fingers are really crossed most of all that I will still get to have two week breaks in between treatment. I feel like detox has been difficult after the transition back to orals alone, and no longer having lactated ringers to help, and that time is really needed to help “clear everything out”. We’ll see.

Until then, goosefaba. I can only control things that I have control over, so there is no point in worrying, especially because I do not know. I will try to go by this philosophy. I will start to get everything ready early (okay, this might end up being a lie), and do what I can, and I can at least look forward to all the good food that DC has to offer! Now that is a great silver lining.  🙂

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