Most people have some sort of jet lag from traveling, but many with Lyme can attest that it can take many days to recover. That is exactly where I am at. Trying to make a full recovery back to my usual day to day symptoms.
You know how I said that there is always tomorrow to do a sweep, vacuum, and pick up the house? Yeah.. it has been four days since our return and absolutely nothing has been done. There is always tomorrow, right?!
I know I need to get ready for this war that is coming more quickly than anticipated as it seems, although I am trying to stay as positive as I can, butterflies, rainbows and unicorns, but I know realistically it will likely be anything but that. There will be light at the end of the tunnel, and I am looking at that, and know after a few cycles of war, I should have significant improvements.
On Thursday I decided to go into work for a little bit. I am playing catch up with a few things as I was gone for a day. I was exhausted to start off the day, but things gradually got worse and worse, and then I plateaued at just plain shitty. Any sort of stress tends to bring out the worst in me.
My pharmacy trip is when I started to go down fast. My prescriptions were on hold because a few of them are not covered. (Thanks to insurance, thanks to my “fake” diseases”) Of course I knew the expensive one was not going to be covered. My yellow chalky antimalarial, Mepron. “What’s the damage on that one?” “That one is going to be $1600.” Fudgums. That is ridiculous. My old insurance covered this particular medication. I told them it might take me a few days, luckily I have enough to start my protocols, as there is no way I can afford this on my own. My parents to the rescue… again. *Sigh*
I feel terrible needing help. I am glad they are able to or I would be absolutely screwed. I had high hopes that once my IV treatment was completed I would no longer need their help. I was obviously wrong. It is a stab to my ego as I have always been an independent person, not needing to rely on others. I have done nothing but rely on others since I fell apart over two years ago. My friends, my family, Dave.. I would be lost without them and it is a blessing I have them in my life.
I really wanted to make Dave a nice dinner as I haven’t made much of an effort these days. I went into the little grocery store after my pharmacy trip, and all I could envision was dollar bills in my head. The stress had already kicked in, and the lights from the store were killing me and being on my feet at all was already a chore. I picked out a small steak for us to share, some rice, and made a big salad at their salad bar. I paid for my things and went out to my car. CRAP. No keys. I left my door unlocked, which I never do, and decided to retrace my steps.
I went back to the pharmacy, no keys. The meat section. No keys. The rice aisle, no keys. The salad bar, no keys. Okay Kimmiecakes, do not panic. Do not cry. Whatever you do, do not cry.
Since my car was unlocked, it occurred to me that I might have left my keys in my car. I started frantically digging, in my seats, plowing through the dozens of water bottles on my floor, in the seat cushions.. no keys. At this point everything seemed dark and grey, I could barely feel my legs and my left arm was numb.
I decided to go back into the store, as I saw a little office up in the front that was near all the cash registers. “Did you happen to find a pair of keys?” “Yes, someone just brought them up front.” THANK YOU JESUS!”
Once I got back to my car, with keys in hand, I had to sit their for quite some time. This little event took a complete toll on me. My body was a wreck. I texted Dave and told him what happened, and he told me to cuddle with my squishy face, Cooper, and it would make me feel better. It kind of did to be honest. I didn’t feel better physically, but sitting outside and watching my two dogs play and come visit me cheered me up.
Dave helped me cook dinner, and my friend Amelia stopped by a little bit as she had to meet up with someone from work and was waiting for him to call. I was piss poor company to say the least. She was going to stop by when she was finished but ended up texting me that I definitely looked like I could use some rest. I was kind of glad, as I was kind of slumped over on the couch and in “lala land” when she showed up. It was nice to have her stop by though, I miss her a lot.
In the past 24 hours, I have slept 15 of them. Naps, early bedtimes, and sleeping in. So sleepy. In the meantime, I have been trying to get my ducks in a row, and not having much luck with trying to find ways to save money, as they go by joint income or other reasons, and most of the coupons I have found are not valid, but my pharmacist is looking into ways to help. Anything is worth a shot, and you don’t know unless you try. It was another stab at me when I grabbed the mail only to find a past due hospital bill, from May 2013, yes 2013, for $450. If someone has a winning lottery ticket share the wealth please and thank you!
Today I did some paperwork to get ahead for the week, as like I mentioned above, I don’t really think this treatment is going to be super fun whatsoever. It is extremely aggressive, and the most I have ever done on an oral protocol in the over two years of treatment I have had so far. The plan is to blast these buggers, particularly Babesia, and blast them hard. I felt a little refreshed this morning after doing a good hair washing the day before, but I offset the morning by forgetting deodorant yet again, and forgetting my sunglasses, which is a big no-no for me.
I had good intentions to do something as a “last hurrah” tonight, like go to the movies, but I don’t think that is in the cards. A movie in, in pajamas sounds pretty nice to me right about now.
Wishing everyone a happy weekend! Kick some butt! Don’t forget it always gets better. 🙂