I was more than excited to see Gayle for my massage therapy session yesterday, as everything was an issue. From sitting on a plane, to navigating around the airport, trying to run errands, and being full of toxins put her to work. The two main issues of the day however were circulatory issues and issues with my feet. My Bart feet. 😛 I was pretty unmotivated for the day, and woke up entirely too late, but I still feel like it was a better “in between” day than what can happen on those off treatment days full of herxing.
Today was a long day. I am counting down the hours until it is an acceptable time to go to bed, as I know if I fall asleep now I will be up in the wee hours of the morning. This is my third treatment day of my new protocol.
Earlier than I would have liked, as I had plenty to do, I had to leave work. I was dropping things, started to sort of stumble around, and everything I was trying to do seemed impossible and my only accomplishment I made was getting angry. I was just a mess.
I stopped by a bar, one of my favorite hang-outs before I went downhill over two years ago, to drop off a small donation from Dave and I, as one of their employees was in a recent car accident and needs help so they are holding a little fundraiser for him tomorrow night. He is a wonderful person and helped organize a benefit that was held for me before I began my IV treatment with Dr J. I know I likely won’t be able to go, as I have been feeling pretty yucky, and I will be adding Flagyl to my plethora of treatments.
I was glad to make it up there unassisted, as Dave always is with me when I am capable. I haven’t been in months however, as it seems like it is just too much stimulation for me. The elevator screwed me up, as they usually do, and I kind of felt like I was moving back and forth while standing there waiting to find out who make the check out to. I jumbled my words a little bit, but I made it by myself.
I am glad I did make it up there, as I know realistically a karaoke fundraiser is probably a big “no-no” at the moment. Loud noises, loud music, lots of conversations around me, possibly no place to sit, the elevator, and the lights. At least he knows I would be there if I could.
Once I got home, I tried a work in progress trying to clip my toenails. It has taken a few tries. I am not very flexible and can’t balance for very long. I fell over on my first attempt to put my foot up, but managed to finish the job. Between fungal issues and my ACA rash that has come back, my toe nails seem to be just peeling off as well as all the skin around it and on my toes. Maybe I will have Dave just paint them, maybe it will protect the nails a little bit. Hmm..
Not sure what ACA is? Check out my link about Lyme and ACA here!
Adding to my list of woes (this might perhaps be a bitchin’ post) , I think I might have developed an allergy to Septra. I am getting a rash, and it started to get a few blisters. I think it is pretty common for people to have an allergy to sulfa, I am just wondering how the intolerance or allergy became more obvious now. I have gotten a lot of feedback from some fellow Lyme patients, and I am thinking my guess about this being an allergy was spot on.
Making dinner was a huge task tonight. Well, this evening as Dave and I eat really early. There was a pan with foil in it, that we used to cook chicken, so it sat there for the night so the grease could thicken a bit so it could just be folded up and thrown away. Wobbling over to bring it to the trash I dumped half the grease on my brand new pants and jacket (yes, a jacket because I was beyond freezing). I yelled, swore, and began to sob, and put my clothes in the washing machine, and used a paper towel to wipe up the mess I made on the floor as I couldn’t bend down to do it.
This brought out anger. I had just ruined my new fall clothes that I felt pretty in, which is a very few and far between and if ever moment, and ruined the clothes I cannot splurge on and shouldn’t have in the first place.
I was angry because I couldn’t walk like a normal person carrying the foil to the garbage can. I was angry I wasn’t feeling well. I was just angry. Angry at life, angry at the world. Something as simple of spilling something on my clothes brought out a lot of horrible feelings I had buried inside. Anything and everything has come back to me today because of all this pent up anger.
Sadness, loneliness, paranoia. I guess those emotions are all better in pairs, right? It’s okay though, I know tomorrow is another day. In the meantime the bugs are having a field day in my head, making me completely crazy.
I burnt my rice. Damnit. I couldn’t get up off the couch fast enough to get to it, but I think it was still salvaged. Dave went up for seconds so I know I must have done alright. I think it is definitely one of those acceptable days to do a countdown until bedtime.
Tomorrow is a busy day. I not only have to go to work and complete everything I need to no matter HOW I feel, as it is end of quarter payroll, and I am sure my fellow employees are anticipating a paycheck on Friday morning, but also have to go to the hospital for blood work and have an appointment with my gynecologist for my depot shot, and to reevaluate my lady part issues and decide what the next step is. Fingers crossed it is smooth sailing 🙂