I am officially on the homestretch of my first round of treatment. I have been a little bit of a scatterbrain lately, so I have completely forgotten about my blog. Oops. Time to play catch up!
Friday went better than expected, but I still had my ups and downs. I finished up all of my work in the office alright, but had to skip all of the errands I wanted to run and head straight home. I got lightheaded and my body felt noodle-ish. It was one of the first days that I felt really nauseas. I am really surprised that starting on an all-oral protocol hasn’t consisted of me being near a trashcan or toilet, as this was how much of the beginning of my treatments was. I think perhaps the only reason it has not been terrible in this aspect is being on pulse treatments, meaning I don’t do them everyday.
When the time came to take my last dose of antibiotics for the night, I sat and stared at my bottles, forgetting if I took all of them, or if I forgot one. Dave told me it might come back to me if I took them all, and to not worry about it if I didn’t take one. I was so angry at myself, thinking I ruined this entire round of treatment because of one little pill. Who does that? It was literally a lapse of about 30 seconds of time, forgetting what I had just done. I sat and pouted, and as Dave suspected it did come back to me. I did take them all. I think so anyway! We will go with that.
I was a little scared at night, having some chest pains with heaviness. I couldn’t get into a comfortable spot laying in bed. It made it hard to take a deep breath, sending me into a bit of a panic. It was like being a fish out of water, almost. I convinced myself that if I kept my eyes closed and tried not to think about it, that it would go away. Somehow, I finally fell asleep.
Saturday I felt like I was completely hung over in the morning. I have not been sleeping well (the night before’s breathing issues didn’t help), and my bedtime seems to be creeping later and later. I don’t like this whatsoever. I just can’t seem to sleep, even though my body is craving it. I have good intentions of getting to bed early as I feel like I could pass right out, but when that moment comes I am wide awake, yet still so ready to fall asleep. My body has conflicting ideas as to what it should be doing at nighttime. I hope the “sleep” part wins pretty soon here.
Dave and I went and saw a late afternoon movie, “The Equilizer”, sharing a large root beer, and popcorn. After the movie, Dave and I grabbed a bite to eat (okay maybe 6 plates worth) at the buffet nearby. I have been trying to eat better, thinking maybe that is a part of my sleep issues, as well as the massive headaches that I have been having at night, but found myself piling up my plate with mac n’ cheese, stuffed mushrooms, about anything fried, as well as a weakness of mine, banana cream pie.
Within about an hour my throat was closed right up and I had about every single inflammatory response going on in my body. My food was so delicious, but I think paying the price for my pig out, it really wasn’t worth it. I decided that I need to stick to my guns a little better, with the exception of my Flagyl days, and not eat gluten, sugar, or anything that I know I really shouldn’t.
Yesterday I felt pretty accomplished between work and doing things around the house. When I woke up in the morning, the vacuum was sitting in the middle of the living room, the full laundry basket sitting on our kitchen table. I was immediately pissed off at Dave, trying to not so subtly hinting to me that I need to do more, but after some snarky remarks back to him, found out he was replacing the dryer vent, hence the moving of the basket and needing to get the vacuum out. Even though my assumption of him being a dink was wrong, it made me realize that I have to push through a little bit more. I hate feeling like I am not doing enough. This isn’t me, and after two years I still haven’t gotten use to it.
I finished almost all of today’s work yesterday, because I knew I would be starting Coartem. I have a history of this particular drug being extremely rugged for me, so best to be head of the game. I got home, swept, washed the kitchen floor, switched the laundry over, vacuumed, made the bed, then headed to the grocery store and did our shopping for the week. I was exhausted, but mentally feeling pretty well that I got all of this done. Another step toward normal.
The end of the night was one of the worst headaches that I have ever had. I couldn’t lie down or stand without the pain to be overwhelming. It started at my temples and went to the back of my head until the very bottom of the back of my head. It wasn’t the food for the day, as I brought just about everything good for the week. I am assuming it is a toxin buildup, and maybe a little bit of dehydration.
Coartem day one. I was really unmotivated today. I didn’t really feel “bad”, just “blah”. It took me forever to get ready this morning, kind of pacing slowly back and forth throughout my house, forgetting what I was doing. Getting to work and letting the dogs out, I was heartbroken to see my dog Winnie, barely able to stand and kind of just wobbling over. She is my dog, that I got as a surprise when I was 15 years old, but moving away to go to school, and to an apartment that wouldn’t allow dogs, she stayed with my parents with their other dog. It is mean to separate them, and being at the house often it was the best choice. I knew this time would come sooner or later, and I think it is about time to say goodbye. I am preparing myself. *Sigh*
Other than feeling foggy and a little sad inside, I felt alright. MUCH better than my last round of Coartem. When I got home I went downhill, feeling even more foggy and shaky, but I am in one piece. I hope the next two days go by quickly, I am looking forward to this break, and hoping for major improvements!