Cranial sacral therapy seemed to be a lifesaver for me this week. For those of you who are not familiar with what cranial sacral therapy is, it is a gentle hands on work that releases tension and helps to work the membranes and fluid that surround and protect the brain and spinal cord to release any resctrictions. Here is a little more info on a neat website I found: http://www.upledger.com/content.asp?id=61
Anywho, this treatment definitely helped with my headaches, as my 8:00 p.m. headache did not roll around like it has been for awhile now. I took it easy for the rest of the day, with lots of water and some burbur drops for detox, to continue detoxing all the crap out of me.
Wednesday was the last day of treatment. I was running a slight fever, and kept having to sit down getting ready. I was really lightheaded and out of breath, even doing the simplest things, like gathering clothes to wear for the day and brushing my teeth.
For some reason a cup of coffee seemed to help. I was still foggy and ended up calling it quits and having a short work day. I accomplished nothing at home, as my house has had tornado Cooper, hurricane Chance, and tropical storm Dave come through it. LOL
We are planning on having a realtor come look at my house, just to see what it is worth, as maybe we will look for another home in the next year or so and we want to see if it would even be worth it.
We can’t lose any money right now. With this being a possibility right now, Dave is extremely frustrated with me as I have done absolutely nothing to try to organize my pigsty of papers, from bloodwork, to antibiotic schedules, to my enormous shoe collection that has taken over our house. I just get so tired after doing what I need to do in the morning at work.
At night I was still foggy, and passed right out after dinner. Like I said, I have had extreme exhaustion lately, as my bedtime has become later and later, and I need at least 10 hours to even try to begin to function.
The nausea set in, and I had absolutely nothing in my house to try to calm it down. No peppermint tea, no saltines, and no Chinese food as it wasn’t Friday. Ritz crackers, that are buttery did nothing to calm it down. At least it was close to bed time, so I took my last pills and went straight to bed, even though it was a night of tossing and turning.
Yesterday was the first day of my break. The Coartem definitely kicked in. I had a fever of 101 for the day, so I felt pretty fluish. Everything ached and I was a hot sweaty mess. This will be the longest break I have had since starting my treatment with Dr J in May of 2013. I am positive that it will be a good thing for me, and I am really hoping by the end of it, I will not have any sort of a relapse, which is fairly common when stopping treatment. This is a part of what he goes by, so I suppose it would be a test, and I let’s see if I pass!
Looking in the mirror getting ready in the morning, I was white as a ghost and had big black circles under my eyes. I have lost all of my hard work for years of working out, weight lifting, taking exercise classes, running around the restaurant, and taking Chance for walks and going swimming with him. It is all gone. No muscle is left. Just blah. I have lost about 10 pounds since I have no longer been on my IV’s, but I know I have gained inches in my waist, likely due to candida issues.
My obsessive compulsiveness has clearly been kicking in lately with these issues. It brings me back to my highschool years where I really struggled with weight issues and eating disorder, although I would probably classifify as OSFED, which stands for Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder, as I really didn’t fall into any specific category. I did all of the above. I now find myself counting calories in EVERYTHING, and I have an overwhelming since of guilt eating things I know I shouldn’t, but they keep me from throwing up with my treatment.
I would never go back to that point I was in high school, knowing how terrible it is to live like that, but looking in the mirror has been my enemy lately. I just want nothing more than to be able to go to the gym and do everything again, but my body just plain won’t let me. I will get there one day again.
Until then, I am just going to get ready and try not to obsess about these things. Easier said than done, but I will work hard at it to not worry, I need to focus on healing, and just remember that I WILL get to that point again.
Dr J and I discussed my depression issues during my last appointment, and said it was the swelling of my brain, the toxins, and the bugs causing my emotions to go haywire. I know he is right, but in the meantime it just plain stinks.
I finally got the phone call from my gynecologist about my ultrasound, that I knew would not bring any revelations to all my “lady part” issues, and we talked about some of my issues once again.
I was tearing up over the phone and trying to keep it together, and not flip out on her that it has been over a year with no one being able to figure it out. I told her that, and she then recommended me to see another specialist and is going to call and make an appointment for me.
This specialist is also in my town which is great as I can drive to see her, as I have had some recommendations to go to Dartmouth, but right now Dave has no time left to take off from work, my mother doesn’t drive, and my Dad works his ass off running his business so I really don’t want to ask anything of him.
I have the feeling this might be another dead end, but I am going to advocate for myself as much as I can, as I know there is something wrong, and no one can seem to figure it out. Maybe she will be the one, being my fourth gynecologist this year and having the opinions of two other doctors. I just want a definitive answer. Is that too hard to ask? They are missing something.
Today I actually feel alright. I am a bit dissociated and foggy, but still very functional. I plan on running errands as soon as I am done work, and I don’t have any anxiety about getting everything done. I will be fine.
I hope everyone has a great Columbus Day weekend! Try to go to a fair if there is one in your area. I know there is the MayDay project, so if you can, go as the numbers truly count. Whatever you do, try to have some fun. 🙂 Happy Friday.