I have been focusing on detox since I have started my antibiotic break. This process can really be a doozy on you, especially if you have the genetic mutation, MTHFR that makes this a much more difficult task.
Dr J has tweaked my supplements because of the amounts of seizures I had been having after my detox, but I don’t think that was the trick, as you will read later from the eye of my husband, as I only have a foggy memory as to what happened this afternoon. It also reminds me that even small tasks give me overwhelming exhaustion, and I pay for it dearly one way or another.
My juicing day was not too bad. This juice cleanse I chose actually wasn’t absolutely disgusting, so thumbs up for that! I might splurge and do another this week, we will see. I have to check the bank account constantly for any extra spending lately. I am always even more broke as the holidays creep up. At night I knew the juicing was stirring up the dead spirochetes and the other toxins in my body, as my tics were pretty bad for the night. *Ahh* *Thrillerrrrrr*
Friday everything kicked in. I was very dizzy, and had to keep laying down after every step getting ready. At work my concentration on getting anything done was subpar, and I was stuttering like crazy. At least the business has slowed down a bit, as it does this time of year until it is time for Christmas parties and the New Year.
On my way home I really wanted to stop by S’s to see if she could fit me in for a hair wash, as my hair has either still had a lot of soap residue as I need to get out of the shower, or I choose to not wash it at all. It is a little embarrassing going into the store in the morning for my coffee, or running whatever errand I need to run with stringy hair, that is apparent I have not washed for days. Eww.
I was bummed in the afternoon as S gave me a phone call, inviting Dave and I out for dinner with another couple. There was no possible way I would have been able to go. I was fried. I was “blah”. My legs were numb. Everything was stressed in my body just trying to function.
I was very grateful and appreciative getting invited though, so that is a BIG silver lining. It always stings to not even get the empty invite. I am sure many of you can relate, as the invites and friends tend to disappear when you are ill. I can’t blame them though sometimes, I wouldn’t want to sit on the couch with a lame Kimmiecakes, when I could go out and do something that is actually fun. I got the invite, so it really made my day, even though it was a couch evening. I try to know my limits, and in this case I did.
I ended up sleeping for the entire late afternoon, into the evening and night. ZzzZZzZ I thought to myself that maybe I would feel a little more clear and have a nice dinner out on Saturday night, and that is what ended up happening. 🙂
I had a great time going out to dinner with everyone last night. I honestly still felt terrible, but it was nothing like Friday. I had a little more energy, and was able to mind-over-matter the pain throughout my body. It was good to talk with everyone, and we all had a lot of laughs. It was nice to catch up with another couple, that recently got married, and hear about their honeymoon in Scotland and Ireland. I’m a little jealous. Someday we will get our dream vacations once again!
We stopped at Walmart before dinner, which put me a step backward, as I was struggling walking in the store, my legs and feet were numb, so I had the classic walk that is a cross between a penguin walk and looking like you took a dump in your pants. LOL Oy. The lights bothered me, making me a little dizzy, and I had to take my jacket on and off a few times because I got really hot and sweating, then absolutely freezing. Going to Walmart and walking in the store is a major feat so I still felt accomplished, even though I am not sure if you would call it an absolute success. I did it though, right?
Today was not a good day. I did not have to work, so I started off the day grabbing a coffee, and swinging by a friend’s house to see if she was home, as she never answers her phone and she likes to sleep in. Nope. Not home. I got a little bit of a drive in, so I didn’t mind. I am still limited to where I go, and although it is about the same distance as what I allow myself, it is a change in direction, so a little bit of new scenery.
I decided to tackle some of the household cleaning. I swept, picked up and organized some papers and junk strewn around the house, and began to tackle washing the tub. By the time I got to the tub, I was feeling light headed, and completely lost the feeling of my legs. I was toast. I began to stumble around finishing the job, and fell over a few times trying to bend down to clean the sides of the toilet, and trying to grab my supplies. I had so much else I wanted to do for the day, but knew I had to call it quits.
Now this is where it begins to get fuzzy. I remember bringing my cleaning products back to the kitchen to take care of them, and Dave going behind me to hold me in his arms. I began to feel even weaker, and then I was out.
So what happened? I only remember tiny bits and pieces, so Dave decided to help me shed some light on what happened this afternoon.
“We were in the kitchen and I put my arms around you, and I could tell you were starting to drift. I guess it was kind of like what the dogs do when they are ready to go asleep and keep putting their heads further and further down (thanks babe, comparing me to the dogs.. lol) . I spun you around to look at you and you were completely unresponsive. You looked like were standing there sleeping putting your all your body weight on me. I carried you to the couch and laid you down, and checked to make sure you were still breathing.
You were ticking and having a lot of body reactions, your arms and legs were arms flinching. You were mumbling when you were more aware to put your arm and hand down as it was clenched in a fist and was up a little higher than your chest sticking out. Your face was doing it’s droopy Bell’s Palsy like thing again. You mumbled that your heart was pounding so I checked your pulse but I couldn’t find anything wrong. I went and grabbed you an Ativan to try to slow your mind down.
I knew you overdid it. I put a blanket on you, and kept checking to see if you were breathing okay. I knew this was a type of seizure or seizures. Definitely your limp noodle kind [limbic] and something else. I guess I am a pro at this by now so I wasn’t nervous or scared. After you took the Ativan everything mellowed out but I sat with you while you slept to make sure you were still alright, and you were definitely out like a light.”
I vaguely remember starting to come back to, after he had me chew an Ativan. He gave me a hug. Tears began to drip down my face. I was angry, and I was sad. I don’t know why I am not getting better. This is by far a marathon and not a race, but I have no idea as to why everything seems to keep going backward. I couldn’t believe this was happening again. Within what was probably minutes, I fell right asleep.
A few hours later I got up, still feeling the exhaustion and my body felt “light”, but was able to cook dinner. And of course pester Dave about my story and wondering what happened, as I feel it is so important for those going through the same in hopes they do not feel so alone, and for those who are not living this nightmare to maybe learn more about what living with this illness is really like.
I just finished dinner, chicken and salad, and might go and take another nap after I get some water with Burbur drops in me. I am notorious for needing around 14 or more hours of sleep to overcome these types of “events”. I feel like maybe it is the toxins that caused this to happen, along with trying to “go go go” and do as much as I can.
Wishing you all a happy weekend and a good start of the week. Take it easy, that is exactly what I am going to do..