February Part 5 – High Hopes

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The slight change in my second week’s protocol tends to kick my butt… and well… my stomach. The stress of last week has finally been calming down, and not only does that help me mentally, as I felt like my world was upside down (I think part of this is truth and normal feelings with too many negatives happening all at once, part of it is irrationality in my mind), it calms my symptoms down quite a bit.

The day before my treatment, I worked in the morning, completing all of Monday’s work, as I always do “just in case”, because I never know how treatment is going to go. My goal for Monday was to work on taxes. Or at least try to, depending on how I was feeling. With more preparations, I always make a big dinner that will last a few days. By 3:30 in the afternoon, I was done. I laid on the couch, and Dave woke me up around 6:30, telling me I really needed to eat something. One bowl of veggie chile later, I was back to sleep until around 9. Needless to say, I had a lot of recouping to do. My body was exhausted. My mind was exhausted.

I gathered all my antibiotics and did my row of them on the counter on Monday morning. Within my hour time frame, I felt high and a little out of it, but I did my best to mind-over-matter it, and get the tax work done. Success! I had a bit of brain fog, a brain fart, whatever you would like to call it, and not only went to the bank and wondered why no one was helping me at the drive-thru saying out loud “Haroooooooo?!” into the machine until I figured out it was a holiday (it was President’s Day… darn slackers who get the day off.. pshhhh), I also went to the post office not only once, but twice. Like I said, brain fart.

My other goal of the day was to see if I could find any deals on Lupron. I had no idea how ridiculously expensive this injection is, but was completely determined to try it, in high hopes that it will make my endometriosis pain calm down, or at least get the “official” diagnosis. It has been over a year visiting doctor upon doctor, and severe pains since I was in elementary school when I started to get my period, and the frustrations of no definitive answers has been driving me insane. I found the cheapest place to get it, and by the end of the week, hopefully I will be giving this a go. Of course, I will be making an appointment with Dr S, and getting his thoughts, and seeing if there is anything I should add (I think I might need blood thinners having Factor V). We shall see.

I seem to be functioning better than usual, to my surprise. Maybe I am finally responding well to this protocol. I am running small errands, able to pick up the house a little bit, and accomplish a bit at work. I am still taking my evening naps, which kind of screws up what time I fall asleep at night, making me run even further behind in the morning.

At nighttime the nausea and stomach stabbing kicks in. My “new” antibiotic of week two seems to cause this. I have been good the past week or so taking showers without Dave babysitting, but really could have used him last night. The nausea and stomach pain seems to make me really dizzy, as well as the non-period cramps that have been plaguing me, also mostly at nighttime. Fingers crossed that Lupron = no more pain.

My massage therapy session was today, and Gayle spend nearly the entire time on my legs. I could feel myself detoxing, as my nose began to get a bit stuffy, but I have no circulation in my my legs and feet, and I am getting my tight Bartonella feet once again.

I broke my sunglasses while I was waiting for my appointment, and there was no way to fix them. The side piece completely broke off. 😦 (They were awesome sunglasses by the way) If anyone knows light sensitivity, it is no fun. It causes headaches, pressure in the eyes, and almost makes it feel like my retinas are burning. Light sensitivities, which is an overstimulation, can also trigger seizures. Between the sun and snow, the light can be quite blinding.

I might have looked a bit ridiculous holding up my sunglasses like spectacles that you would bring to an opera driving down the road to the pharmacy to get a script and get new sunglasses, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Although I am suppose to rest after massage, I felt a lot better, my legs with more feeling, and vacuumed and did a batch of laundry, minus the folding, as it goes into my giant pile of clean clothes for another day.

Altogether, I am feeling in a much better place. All the pieces of last week are slowly coming together. I feel like less stress makes it a much better way to judge how you are doing, and am happy that it seems to be a much better round. I can only hope that this is a preview of my break, the true test of where I really am. I need things to go up. I’ve been patient and holding the best positivity I possibly can while no progress. I am ready for some blue skies. 🙂

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