Big accomplishments come with consequences. The other day, my evil husband (okay, he really isn’t evil at all but I desperately wanted to use a scooter and he wouldn’t let me) took me to Walmart to do a little shopping for some things that we are out of, that are ridiculously expensive to get in town. Between the car ride, having to park far away from the entrance, the bright lights and smells of Walmart, and standing, I was toast.
We were only there for about a half an hour, and I pretty much held onto the cart for dear life, yet Dave had to help me push it because I’m not strong enough to right now. I got overwhelmingly dizzy, loopy, lightheaded, and my legs began to turn into Jello. But hey, at least I can say I made the trip. That is a huge accomplishment, even though that sounds pretty darn sad.
I asked Dave because I don’t even know anymore about what is “normal”, if he gets tired doing that sort of thing. If it is a lot for one to do. I got an “Ummm no, I also went to my parents house and walked through the mud all morning checking out their land”. Well then. I guess it is just something that I am not quite ready for.
After really thinking about my little voyage through Walmart and although a success I knew it was way too much for me to do still, and I know that I need to work at making more small trips. Without doing this, I know I am going to remain the way I am, and I need to build up more “oomph” and strength to tackle more things. I am sure doing more will get easier over time, at least that is what I am hoping.
It is a little bit discouraging however, as I feel like a year ago I was doing a lot better, even walking five miles on the beach and checked out a few museums while staying in DC. I feel like this past year has been a wash.
Since my trip, I have been wiped out. I have had to leave work early the past few days as I faded fast, and once that happens it is kind of the point of no return, and slept. I have been sleeping 14-15 hours each day recouping from my half hour-ish trip.
The first day after my trip, it was a very long drive home, I made it into the door, took off my boots but never managed to take off my coat, let out a few good “AHH AHH” tics and a few thriller dances with my arms and passed right out.
My body has been in so much pain and completely hating me. I fell pretty hard on my knee the other day losing my balance trying to pick out clothes to wear for the day. My ass has been kicked.
I went and saw my massage therapist yesterday, and it was not a fun trip getting my legs and feet loosened up. I always feel so much better afterward, but the process really sucks sometimes. I even got a phone call this morning and was told I didn’t have to come in if I wasn’t feeling up to it. I stayed a couple hours to try to get a few things done and headed home. I don’t like missing work, and it has been
It is the start of my panic mode, as the time has come to get ready to leave for my LLMD appointment. It isn’t so much the appointment I am nervous about, I just get completely anxiety ridden between packing, getting my novel sized paperwork ready with my antibiotic and supplement schedule and as well as my notes, bringing my dogs to my parents, preparing for the flight, and I absolutely have to have a clean house for when I get home (my lovely OCD). As soon as I get off the plane, all of this will go away. In the meantime, it is overwhelming and my little head is about to pop, as ridiculous as it sounds.
I figured I would take a mini break and do a little writing and give an update. Wish me luck at my appointment, and I will let you all know how it goes, and what the new game plan is going to be. Hoping you all have a good rest of the week. 🙂