May Part 5 – Blue Sky Sunday


I have had a two day break since I have last written, and they were both herx days. I was sore and feverish, and the nausea I was expecting to subside once I was done my antibiotic treatment for the week didn’t pass.

Even though I was half asleep, we ended up going out to dinner with the “Make a Wish” couple to a restaurant that just opened up for the summer that my family business sells to, so I know they have the GOOD stuff 😉 . We had a good time, but couldn’t really shake the overwhelmingness of the conversations all around me. It makes me tired, and I can’t see straight. I do much better than I use to during these episodes, as they often resulted in seizures from the overstimulation.

For a special dessert, okay… liquid dessert, my friend and I opted to get a summer ale. I haven’t really had much to drink at all, as I know I cannot on antibiotics, and alcohol seems to mo longer get along with me so well. I decided however, since I was off of everything, I would treat myself. Within about a half hour, my stomach was KILLING me. Stabbing, terrible pains. Well, I know not to do that again! I am not going to lie though, that treat was delicious. Was it worth it? I am going to have to go with a “no” on this one.

Yesterday I started up my second week of treatment. I was not looking forward to it whatsoever, as this first week has gone pretty piss poor, and I would be adding more antibiotics onto my already disgusting protocol. I decided to make a swap out from Mepron to Malarone to see if it made any sort of difference on how I felt, and if it helped any with the terrible nausea I have been dealing with.

Something happened yesterday. I am not sure what, as the first day of treatment is downright miserable, but I did great. Was I my “old self”? Was I feeling superfradjalistickexpealadocious? No, but I felt better than I have in a very long time.

It was my one Sunday I get off work for the month, so I decided to tackle some cleaning after Dave made breakfast for us and I downed my morning pills. I kept going and going without a break.

Our house has hard water, and Dave recently changed the filters, so I wanted to really scrub the shower to get rid of all the orange. It took two rounds of cleaning to make it white again. I am always afraid of cleaning the shower, since a month or two ago I had tried, and ended up collapsing, Dave carried me to the couch and I had a partial seizure followed by a clonic/tonic type seizure, in which I was having what appeared to be a grand mal seizure, followed by complete stiffening of my arms, legs, and hands, like a mummy. My hands generally raise, and do a weird claw sort of thing. Yeah… not super fun, so I have this fear of cleaning my shower. I tackled it anyway with success! 🙂

On a roll, I washed all the towels and bath mats, swept, vacuumed, washed the floors, and finished cleaning the bathroom. This was nearly four hours of work. Holy shit. All on my first day of treatment for the week.

Once I was done everything, I kicked my feet up and relaxed for a little while. I was starting to feel a little tired, loopy, and lightheaded. Dave came inside and wanted to see if I would take a ride with him in his mud truck, and I decided to go.

Dave and I use to go wheeling (rock crawling and driving thru lots of mud for those of you who are not wood boogers like we are) nearly every weekend. I think no longer being his partner in crime has been one of the hardest things for Dave. It was something we always use to do together, and he really misses it. It has been nearly three years since I have been out on the trails with him. He decided to take me up a mountain, which wasn’t too far away. A simple, short trip to try out.

You could tell by the look in Dave’s eyes, he was happy. It isn’t so much that I am sick that bothers him, it is “our things” that he is upset about. Believe me, I miss these things too. But the possibility of getting stuck in the woods, no bathrooms, trying to get in and out of the giant truck that he has named the “Big Dumb Chevy”, and riding in it, as it is no Cadillac is pretty difficult when you are sick.

And here I am!

Once we got home, I was TOAST. My body completely said when. I was glad to get out, and for all I accomplished in one day. That day had been exactly what I needed. It gave me a lot of hope as to what is to come. Now I can really tell people and mean it when they ask how I am doing, that I have good days and bad. I say that an awful lot. Now I am no longer bluffing. I am praying that I will soon have more better days than not so good days, and I know that will come. Patience. Living in this hell for so long, I at least know that treatment is working. Little by little.

Dave ended up cooking me dinner, on our new grill that I got as a surprise early birthday present (thanks to my Mom and Dad), and let me relax for the night. It was one of those nights he had to stay up to make sure I was okay in the shower, and although I began to feel like an inferno and lightheaded once I was in my pajamas, I made it off to bed. At 10:30. Can you believe it? That is a record time for me!

Today is day two of my treatment. I am not on nearly as many antibiotics as I was yesterday, but between the completely overdoing it yesterday, and the herxing, it hasn’t been a great day. Luckily, I didn’t have a lot to do at work, and everything was pretty easy. I had to run a few errands for work, get my blood work done that I had forgotten to do on my way to work, get my car registered, and make an appointment to get my car inspected. My sticky note TO DO list literally could have made my head explode. Anything past one simple task on an off day seems extremely daunting.

I took a break in between my errands and sat at home for a bit. I ended up getting it all done, and there was even time for me to get my inspection done right on the spot as there was no other appointments at that time. It was quick, and what a relief it is to have everything done without any worries.

Tonight I will be relaxing. Leftovers are on the menu for dinner, and I am going to need a leg and back rub down from Dave with some Arnica gel as I feel like I got hit by a freight train. I am running a fever so that might be attributing to the pain. Hmm. Tomorrow is massage day, so I will get “reset” when I visit Gayle, but it seems so far away at the moment. Haha.

That is about it folks. One moment of blue skies. It was great. It will remind me to never give up, because so many good things are yet to come. In time, I will have my life back. It will be different, as time has passed. Yet I will be “me” again. Don’t ever give up on yourself, because your blue skies will begin to come too.

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