I feel like I have been slacking for months on my blog. I really haven’t had any motivation, as all I want to do is sleep. And that is exactly what I have been doing. By the early afternoon, I can barely keep my eyes open, I force myself to get up to make something for dinner (although Dave has been taking over that duty for me lately), then back to sleep I go.
I really don’t know how I have managed to get anything done at work, and there has been quite a few days that I have had intentions of going to the store to pick up stuff for salad, or some fruit to satisfy a late night sweet tooth, but I have found myself sitting in the parking lot, unable to go inside, and I end up driving home empty handed.
The other evening I had a good fall. My legs just decided to turn to instant goo, and down I went. I have a big bruise on my knee, and I cannot tell if I dislocated my hip, or if the muscles and tendons are completely screwed up.
It almost feels like bones are rubbing together. The pain is radiating to my lower back and all the way down my right leg. Not going to lie, I am usually a trooper when it comes to dealing with pain, but this is pretty bad.
It has been causing me to toss and turn at night, as it seems to hurt worse then (I am assuming the couch isn’t helping?), and I even had to leave work early because it hurt too bad just to sit in the office chair. Saturday night, Dave came home early from one of his wheeling trips to take me out to dinner, but he ended up just picking up some take out as there was no way I could sit upright for that long.
This whole pain thing has left me slacking even more on my showers, I know, gross right? At least I haven’t gone anywhere other than work, so there really isn’t a big need to impress anyone. I know I just can’t stand that long, especially the further the day goes on.
In addition to this whole falling apart bit, my Cipro foot has come back, and it is paired with ACA. What is ACA you may ask? Here is a little info: 😉 https://kimmiecakeskickslyme.wordpress.com/2013/09/23/lyme-and-aca-the-herx-rash/ .This time, the ACA has caused the bottom of my foot to completely split open, and have little tiny blisters on the ends of my toes. Another reason I haven’t wanted to stand long enough to get all gussied up.
On a very good note, the terrible depression I have been dealing with is finally lifting. This is such a hard thing, one of the hardest challenges I have faced, and to have a better mentality is such a relief. I am in a much better place. This is leading me to believe it is an encephalitis issue once again, caused by all the toxins.
Today was a rough one. I am frustrated. Twice in this past week I have gotten up too quickly in the morning, making me very dizzy and lightheaded, and my vision becomes glazed and darkens. My legs begin to feel week. My heart rate was in the 150’s on the first occasion, 165 on this morning’s occasion. So, I have had to hit my heart monitor button.
I got a call this afternoon, and the woman I spoke with on the phone told me that these were really high heart rates for just doing that, yet acted like she completely doubted I was being truthful that simply getting out of bed did that. She once again made the comment of doing drugs can cause these issues to happen. For real lady?!
I feel like I am about done with having this heart monitor, as I am getting nowhere with it, other than getting bashed mentally, getting told I am some sort of addict or drunk, out partying all night, and doubted with every little thing.
Still no answers. “Tachycardia of unknown origin” is the only diagnosis that has come up thus far. No shit. This is nothing new. The only place where this monitor has gotten me is upset. I know that these things take time, but getting treated in the manner I have is inexcusable.
Even when I talked to a woman in charge after the last insinuation that this all is somehow my fault by poor lifestyle choices, she poo-pooed me and said there was nothing on my record that said that was said to me. If I was going to make a guess, it is not their policy to treat people in the way that I have been treated, or to say that to a patient, so of course it wouldn’t be “in the charts” that they spoke to me that way.
All I can hope is that I will get an answer. Dr J has thus far been the only doctor to look into what is going on with these issues, and prescribed me the Midodrine to level out my blood pressure with the high suspicion of POTS. Although it took awhile to get things under control and leveled out, my blood pressure appears to be doing much better, even though I am still having these episodes. Baby steps I suppose.
In the meantime, I am still waiting for my one in a million adrenal tumor results. I have not checked my patient portal online to see if they are in, so maybe I will do that later. Maybe tomorrow. I really don’t want to think about any health related things for the rest of the day. All I know is that I should probably think about making a phone call, and getting my cardiologist on the phone with my LLMD. Maybe a case can be made to investigate POTS more, and I wouldn’t mind getting an electrophysiologist’s opinion on all of this.
Tomorrow is massage, and although I know it’s going to be rather painful, I am definitely looking forward to it. These hips don’t lie, they hurt. And I want to focus on detox before I start treatment next week. I signed up for another juicing day too. Perhaps if I am prepped very well for this final round before my next appointment, it will go well. And going back to DC with as much good news as possible will be awesome! My goal is a “lightened load”. Like I said with this all, I need to remember… baby steps.