Six pills. It sounds like a lot. It isn’t if you have chronic Lyme. These six pills were my treatment this week. It looks like a walk in the park on my protocol paper, just two antibiotics, versus my large list on week one, which wasn’t fun at all.
Luckily, my first day of treatment I actually had a day off. Although I only work around 25 hours a week, I come in every single day to try to get something done. I have about an hour until everything hits me like a ton of bricks, so I enjoyed it as much as I could. Dave and I treated ourselves by going out for breakfast. Toast, sausage, fried eggs… greasy foods. I was prepared for battle! Anyone who follows me knows that my cure all for the nausea that these drugs cause is greasy foods. My love for Chinese on bomb day.
By the time I got home, it had already been that hour. I had so much I wanted to do since it was my day off. Clean, try to grocery shop with Dave, yet I found myself spending the entire day on the couch. Fast asleep. The only time I got up was to eat the dinner that Dave had made, and to start an argument with Dave that wasn’t really called for, I was just being wretched. Feeling sick and Lyme rage can be a bad mix to whoever is around you.
I was stuttery, ticking, and so out of it. I was depersonalized. The best way I can describe it is that you are hovering over your body. Your movements are like you have strings, much like a puppet. You hear yourself speak but you aren’t really there at all. It is like a dream… you are just hovering over your body that you have no control over.
I almost forgot. I am going to back track. Forgive me. My mind is wandering today a bit. Bomb day last week started off pretty bad. I had to hit my heart rate button, as I spent some time laying on my kitchen floor. I couldn’t move. Everything was black. By the time I could grab my purse above me, I had felt a tiny bit better, I could at least see again, and pressed my button for the cardiologist to see my records (I still haven’t sent the full download to them. Oops), and checked my blood pressure. 107/69. My heart rate was just over 120. I would have to take a guess that I had a pretty big drop in blood pressure, causing tachycardia and the black out.
The rest of the day I did my best to take it easy. I think my biggest accomplishment was getting dressed, although I kind of looked like Punky Brewster, as I just grabbed items from the top of my hamper. A blue and white tank with little anchors, a bright neon tank top, a black and white plaid collared shirt. I tried to start the kitty shirt trend (it never caught on LOL), but maybe I will start the mismatched clothing trend. Probably not.
Okay. Back to this week. Sorry about that.
The second day of treatment wasn’t a whole lot better. I once again almost fell in the shower, pulling out the exact same muscles in my back as my fall on the floor about a month ago. Even after massage therapy, it still isn’t the same. Laying on my stomach, I can feel those muscles pulling again, from my upper thigh, butt, and to my lower back. Super!
I spent most of the day dry heaving, convinced I had a fever (I didn’t technically have one, just a tiny bit high for me) so I felt fluish, my heart felt like it actually hurt and was racing. I was exhausted. You get the idea. I was downright miserable.
At night, I stayed up until about 1:00 in the morning. I had an excruciating headache. I call it a toxic headache. It starts from the connective tissue and lymph from the back of my neck, and radiated upward. When I would try to stand to get off the couch and get ready for bed, it would intensify so much that I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. After several tries, I was able to change into pajamas, brush my teeth, and I loaded up with some detoxing essential oils.
My week continued on the same way. Terrible. I think the only thing that got me through it was starting to piece together our Halloween costumes. Dave and I love Halloween. I always make him go all out. Makeup, ridiculous attire. He probably doesn’t enjoy that but he does it for me. Putting together items to create our costumes was a distraction, and I always have fun doing it.
I have at least a good part to my story. A great part. One that gives me a lot of hope.
The night before, I did a whole 15 minutes on my recumbent bike after I took my evening nap. Although I woke up really early and still wasn’t feeling well, I vacuumed, swept, cleaned my bathroom, and took an ACTUAL shower. Not a rinse off that just mentally makes me think I have good hygiene. I took the time to wash my hair. There was no collapsing, falling, being dizzy or lightheaded. No having to sit on the couch between every step of getting ready in the morning.
I went to take my 3 pills of my 6, and realized I was already done treatment for the week. The two weeks that seemed like an eternity were finally finished. I did it. *And the angels sing*
I did so well that morning. The start of my break was amazing. Those things that I accomplished were great. Those things that people do daily without a thought, that they really take for granted. I knew I was going to eventually crash, but I enjoyed every moment of this.
After all of that, I headed to work. Downhill I went, but I didn’t even care. My speech started to be off, stuttering on the phone with my coworker. My mind began to slip, my feet turned very blue again, and I started to get rashy on my legs. I finished work and was fried. I had wanted to go to the store on the way home, but I didn’t have it in me. Home. Sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.
Dave went out with his friends last night, which was fine since I wasn’t all too exciting molded into the couch, and when I finally got up, I did 20 minutes on my bike. TWENTY MINUTES!
Even though my whole day wasn’t perfect, having those pieces of days that I feel more like me are slowly coming back. Maybe not all the time, but they are occurring more and more. Whether it is this new treatment protocol that is kicking my ass, or the POTS treatment. Something is working. I think maybe it is both.To have such a reactivity to my primarily Babesia based protocol, I am hitting something, and hitting it hard.
Today wasn’t too bad a morning either. I didn’t set a record like the day before, but I was fairly productive. I feel like although I am having a really hard time, getting bits and pieces, even if it is just a few hours, I am headed the right direction and something is finally working. I have a considerable amount of time off of treatment this time around, as long as it goes alright, so let’s all hope that I have more pieces of the blue skies my doctor says will come. And I feel like they might finally start to be coming. Slowly but surely I am getting there!