April Part 1 – Rock in a Hard Place

I ended up doing two days of treatment at the end of last month. Only two. I had big plans to do a longer protocol, but it ended up being so bad that I didn’t know what to do. I ended up emailing Dr S and telling him what was going on, and he agreed, things are not okay for me at all, my body is unstable, and so I threw in the towel.

I felt like such a baby. I am not a complainer, and have been tough as nails dealing with this illness, but I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I have undid everything in my stomach as better as it was for quite some time with my short treatment. Lots and lots of trips to the bathroom, haha.

I felt so high I couldn’t function, my body felt so heavy and I could not move. I was wobbly trying to get around, even having to hold Dave, the wall, ANYTHING for support to stand, and showering has once again become an enemy of mine.

I usually don’t deal with a tremendous amount of pain, but now I do. I have Bartonella feet, and my legs hate me. The connective tissue in my neck is completely inflamed.

I am back to sleeping all evening and 12 or more hours of sleep a night

I tried to make a milestone of driving the 45 minutes to Dave’s parents for Easter, and I paid for it. I felt foggy, depersonalized, shaky, and was holding back my tics. Fortunately, I only had a few cringes here and there. Not enough that I think anyone noticed.

I slept the entire way home, and Dave even went shopping while I continued to sleep I the car. I am just a mess, my body is toast.

I am a bridesmaid and am going to be missing out some of the bachelorette activities. It just would never be able to happen. The other day, we went to a friend’s house for a get together, and we had to quietly leave. I just couldn’t take the noise. Dave can always tell when I am fading fast.

My massage therapist was really surprised, as I have seen her nearly every week for the past several years, that my knees were incredibly swollen. Hmm. That is a new one. I’ll just ignore it for the time being.

I then received my results for a test I took to try to gather some more information to try to figure out the Kimmiecakes puzzle.

An email with, “You need to make an appointment to figure out a treatment plan now”, probably isn’t the greatest of things. I am seeing Dr S next week to try to make some sense of this all.

There were a lot of big words that even Google had me a bit stumped as to what it really means for my situation.

In a nutshell, as I had my quick email and a printout of the results, there is high damage to my neurotransmitters and I have and oxidative issues.

I have a very bad gut and intestinal infection that is likely antibiotic resistant at this point (this part really worries me, as I hadn’t even been on antibiotics for 4 weeks when I took the test). I am not sure what route I am going to go in order to heal my gut. I really hope I don’t have to take another poo sample, those are never fun. Lol.

Every single thing on the test had a suggestion on how to improve things, and low and behold… I am already taking everything they suggested!!!!!!

Oh boy… my body clearly just plain isn’t absorbing things anymore.

I have zero detox that is truly working, and anything with the word “hepatic” isn’t good. Ugh. A break would be fabulous! But, the silver lining in this all is I now have more information to try to solve this all.

I might end up looking into IV treatment again. No longer for antibiotics, but things such as Vitamin C, Myer’s cocktails, and once again using the ringers, glutathione, and milk thistle IVS. I think getting my liver to cooperate and my body to detox properly would probably make a lot of this better.

Every single day seems to become more of a struggle. I am feeling more exhausted, weaker, foggier. My lighter version of tics, and those aura waves that make you completely out of it, like everything around you is a blur, and sometimes can result in seizures are coming back. This generally happens when I am trying to run a few errands, with Dave as my babysitter of course. I even have thrown in some “AHHH” tics again.

I am not going to lie, I am a bit scared. I have been trying to be as positive as I can throughout this journey, as it is what it is. You really have to live day by day under these circumstances or it will drive you nuts thinking about the future.

But that being said, I can’t relapse anymore, and that is what I feel like I am doing. My body is now rejecting antibiotics. My gut needs to heal. I can’t go downhill anymore, and that is where I think I am slowly headed.

I had a scheduled neurologist appointment this month, and was told I would be pushed up the list to get in there sooner to see him. Nope, I got a letter in the mail that my appointment is now another month away.

I am running out of one of my seizure meds, Lamictal, and I need to come up with a game plan. I am not considered an established patient so I highly doubt he will help me. My GP thinks I am a junkie. Dr S cannot prescribe it to me. Fudgums.

I didn’t leave Dr J’s office on poor terms, I left it open ended so maybe I can still get a refill there. I don’t know. I need to investigate this, and if it doesn’t work out I will have to wean myself off. From what I hear, this drug is not an easy one to get off of.

And that is my violins. I wish I had a more uplifting post for you all. This is a Lyme reality though! As you can see, I have been in a rock and a hard place. I really can’t do a heck of a to right now. I need to heal first.

When your body is out of whack and your immune system is crud, treatment is not going to work. It just isn’t. You need to get somewhat balanced, so your body will be able to fight off the bugs.

This is all so frustrating Someway somehow, I know that things will all work out. They have to. I just have to remember that they will, and this is just a big ol’ bump in the road.

And the Miss Olive picture of the week of course! Arf. 🙂 Happy Monday everyone!
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6 thoughts on “April Part 1 – Rock in a Hard Place

    • I always have had a good feeling about him. It just stunk, at my worst point he was honest and told me I was too much for him to care for. I give him a lot of respect for that though.

  1. Ugh I am feeling this and totally get it. So sorry. You will get through this when you get your gut back under control. Have you ever tried liposomal glutathione for detox? Oh my gosh it’s feels as good as the IV version. It seriously works and you can take it at home. I just started and it changed my life like nothing I’ve taken in the past 3 years. It smells like something died mixed with old lady crotch mixed with permission solution, so mix it with pomegranate juice if you try it. Does the trick. I’m a crappy detoxer too and its really helped me. Also liposomal vitamin c works pretty good with the body, if you take that along with your B shots plus the glutathione it will be like your giving yourself your own Myers cocktail, narcissistic doctor be damned!! Don’t mean to push ideas down your throat, but some of these things have helped me so much that I would not be a good friend if I didn’t mention it for your consideration.

    All the best

  2. Oh also for liver detox, coffee enemas can be a huge help. There’s a good recipe described by Ben greenfield that you can look up online. I’ve made it much easier by using emptied fleet saline enema bottles rather than a complicated enema system. Again, just sharing detox things that have worked for me after everything else failed, because I think you’re on to something saying that if you could just detox a bit it would help. FYI you can also put 2 or 3 Oz distilled water plus strong probiotic capsules in those enema bottles and keep it in for a few hours each evening, it helped my stomach a ton when I was fixing my gut, gets the probiotics in there better than orally. I will shut up now. XO

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